Robyn Humphrey: Lessons of Love From 24 Years of Marriage

“Love is great. Lust is great. But it’s a really wonderful thing if you like your spouse.”

Robyn Humphrey met her husband, Chris, at the gym, in the era of step aerobics and weight lifting. They were introduced by a mutual friend, and she says that they started off on a strange path.

Fortunately, it turned around in a wonderful way.

Robyn and Chris spent months in the gym getting to know each other and sharing workouts. And then, eventually, they went out on a date. Robyn initially thought they would just be friends, but she quickly fell in love with him.

Robyn, incredibly confident and independent, felt that she didn’t need anyone; she was her own person. Chris seemed larger than life—way too attentive and caring—which was new for her.

Over time Robyn began to realize that letting someone care for her and love her was a really beautiful thing. He was the first person that she was able to share her vulnerabilities with.

Six months later, Chris asked Robyn to marry him.

They’ve been married for 24 years now and have a kid about to head off to college.

When it comes to marriage, Robyn says that it requires a lot of negotiating and being present. You have to not be embarrassed by things that happen. “You really have to be open and share and let go of the ego,” she says.

But most importantly? You have to like each other. “Love is great. Lust is great. But it’s a really wonderful thing if you like your spouse,” says Robyn.

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Video shot and edited by Edward Boyce

Accompanying text by Kristin Diversi