Chris Grosso: Searching for God With Mushrooms

This indie author went looking for God with psychedelics. He didn’t get what he was looking for, but the experience changed his life.

Chris Grosso, author of the Indie Spiritualist, shares his story about the last time he experienced psychedelic drugs. Chris has always been a huge fan of Ram Dass. And when this event took place, he was very much into Dass’s book Be Here Now. So, one Sunday afternoon, with the intention to focus on Be Here Now and have an incredible experience, or trip, Chris ingested some mushrooms. “I am going to take this whole eighth by myself and I’m going to see the face of God and it’s going to blow my mind and be amazing." ...Or so he thought. Chris had experimented with psychedelics heavily in the past, easily over 100 times by his estimation. At that time he had "never had a bad experience." This time, after taking the mushrooms, he went on a stroll to a local Thai restaurant and ordered some wine and food. But soon after arriving he noticed the nearby statue of Shiva looking at him, and then start to move. “Oh this isn't good,” he realized. So he quickly drank his wine and asked for his food to go. To Chris the walk home felt like it took days... It was actually more like 15 minutes. "If you want to practice mindful walking, take a ton of mushrooms," Chris says. When he finally did arrive home, Chris tried to sleep off his trip, but his anxiety began to grow. He called his parents in desperation. They arrived and brought him back to their home. They asked what was going on. In response, Chris handed Be Here Now to his mother and said, "maybe this will explain it." Recalling looking up at the stars, Chris describes how he felt: "It was a very transcendental experience—but it wasn’t in a good way—it was all like forever was crashing down on me and I just muttered, ‘it’s all too real.’” The next morning his mother confessed that she had read the whole book and didn’t get it. Chris took this trip as a sign that psychedelics, however eye-opening they had been in the past, were not the path for him. He hasn’t touched them since. "I lived and learned," he says. — Find more Wanderlust Storytelling videos here Video shot and edited by Edward Boyce Accompanying text by Kristin Diversi