Balance is Not a Final Destination

Balance is not a fixed state. It is something that we need to dance with in life.

Being a mother of two whilst working in the wellness & healing industry, one of the most common things I hear over and over again as the constant we are all striving for in life, is balance.

The place we want to get to so that we can feel more aligned.
The place that we are striving for so that we can feel happier, more grounded, more centered and just quite simply better.

And yet, we talk about balance as if it is this far off luxury holiday destination that if we could just get to one day, then we could finally unpack our bags, slip our feet in the sand and relax into full holiday mode and just BE. But the real problem with this is that ‘balance’ is depicted as a kind of nirvana, way off in the distance that we have to ‘get to’ – rather than something that is available to every single one of us on any given day.

A teacher of mine once said that balance would be something I’d recognise the moment I swung right past it on my way to the other side, and this always made me laugh! Because certainly in my case it has been true.

And so instead of treating balance as something we always seem to want but never quite get enough of, here are some new ways of thinking about it that may be super helpful.

Balance is not a fixed destination.

It never has been and it never will be. There is no magic answer, no perfect action, no delicious green drink that will finally get us there so we can live happily ever after. The one constant in life that we can absolutely rely on is that life will keep changing and alongside that so do we. Every single day we feel different from the next – our emotional needs change daily, often multiple times a day and so do our physical, mental and spiritual needs.

On top of that the outside world around us changes constantly.

And so, what is needed to have balance will be different all the time. And it is unique and authentic to each one of us every moment of every day.

Some days a piece of double chocolate cake may be the very thing to send you off balance if you are already feeling scattered, off centre and emotional. And yet other times, on the other days, for a different person, who has been too rigid with food and needs to let go more, it may be just the thing that is medicine for that day.

Balance is not a fixed state.

And it is not something that we have to find. It is something that is available to any of us, all the time, every day, always.

It is something that we need to dance with in life, paying attention to when we have come out of balance (swinging right past it) and getting clear on what is needed to bring ourselves back. And the moment we try to hold on tight to it we’ve already lost it because we’ve gotten tight and controlled.

And so here are 5 powerful tools to bring in to your daily life to help you have a more empowering and effective relationship to living more aligned and balanced in every single way:

1. Daily Checking In or Self-Enquiry:

Get into a practice of checking in with yourself every single day. This is often called a practice of self-enquiry. I like to do this through daily journaling but being a mum of two children I don’t always have the time – so I can check in with myself in my mind also.

Ask yourself these questions and then really and truly listen carefully for the answer. The more you practice this, the better you will get at it as you will learn about yourself more, learn to trust yourself more and learn to know yourself more. All extremely empowering ways to living more aligned with our truth.

How am I doing today? How do I feel (Physically, emotionally & mentally?)
What do I need today to take care of myself? – Do I need a nap, rest, a walk, exercise, food, friendship, connection, play time?
What can I commit to – to make sure I am taking care of my needs today?

2. Self-Care Tools or Anchors:

These are the tools you know you can keep coming back to every single day at any given time, to bring you back to a more grounded, anchored and centered place. To find them ask yourself these questions:

What makes me feel grounded in my life? Meditation, cooking, sharing with friends, walking, exercise, journaling, praying.

Whatever it is to find these things out for yourself and then choose your top 5. These will now be your bag of tools that you can keep returning back to use as your anchors to restore you to a more aligned and balanced place.

3. Taking Action:

Once we gain the awareness above we then need to love ourselves enough to take action in taking care of ourselves. This is key – nothing changes if nothing changes! And so, can you commit to taking one action every single day, aligned with what you need, to take care of yourself and your needs. It can be small of big actions, but real change occurs from many small simple daily steps of actions taken from a loving more aware place.

4. Self-Love, Compassion and Acceptance:

Part of living more aligned and balanced is learning how to be more flexible, WITH OURSELVES! That means being loving, compassionate and accepting with ourselves always. Even if we don’t manage to do what we needed to do. Even if we have gotten way off balance. If we can be loving, compassionate and accepting of ourselves unconditionally, well then we are already more than halfway there to feeling, living and being more aligned and balanced in ourselves and our lives.


Nicky Clinch is a Transformational Coach, Spiritual Mentor, Entrepreneur and Founder of the Warrior Woman movement. It is her purpose in life to empower women to become their most authentic and aligned selves, knowing that everything they need is already within them. Connect with her on Instagram, Facebook and Website.