Ask Emma is our straight-talking, semi-irreverent, spiritualist-realist etiquette column for all matters metaphysical and mundane. We openly welcome and acknowledge all views, opinions, feedback, ideas, and questions. Please recognize that this is about spreading useful, positive, helpful, kind, practical tips. Should you feel inspired to share bad vibes or hate mail, we politely and respectfully ask you to peace out.
Ask a question at email@example.com, or turn to her most recent book, The Soul Searcher’s Handbook, for more.
It grosses me out when the teacher has touched everyone else’s sweaty shoulders and then mine.
It’s particularly troubling because I haven’t gotten my Hep A shot. How do I deal with this? What should I do?
Good point, ew, I have never really given this much thought—but you are totally right! Guru-oss!
Following your germ-infested-sweat-revelation query, I made a point of having a quick word with my teacher, pre-hot-flow class, mentioning that I’m not a fan of being touched. I asked that should she want to make corrections to me to please verbally share them instead. I closed with a giggle and a light hearted pass: “Sharing sweaty hands gives me the heebie-jeebies.” She laughed. Early on in the class she walked pass me and told me to tuck in my tail bone. I mouthed the words thank you to her.
Worked a charm! #Nama’stayGermFree
Bear in mind, though, that the teacher may see touch as an important part of his or her teaching. If this is the case—should the teacher keep putting hands up in your hygiene zone—rather than making a stink about it, I’d simply explore studios until you feel comfortable, until you find that clean fit. You want to be able to relax into your practice without being on germ alert, so don’t be afraid to look for a studio that you feel at peace in.
My friend recently broke up with her long-term boyfriend and has been down in the dumps.
She says she wants to get back in the dating game but hasn’t made any moves. How can I gently encourage her without overstepping?
High five for being such a supportive gal pal. Bless your big heart, chakra sister. I’ve been in your shoes, and found that making a healing kit is a great way to go. Make a little holistic heart healing box so she can pick what works for her, and let what she chooses plant the subtle “get back out these sister” seed. Some ideas to include: A rose quartz crystal for her heart chakra, rose and frankincense bath salts so she can release her heart, or a self-help book that you think might resonate with her.
Some lavender or jasmine aromatherapy drops are also good to help ease her mind, and any nerves, depression, or anxiety she might be experiencing about putting her heart back out on the soulmate market. And the biggie—a notebook that you’ll title “My Soulmate.” Leave a post-it note on it instructing her to make a list of everything she wants in a partner: His hobbies, interests, goals, personality traits, etc. Then tell her to go out and search for him.
Love, after all, is a seek and find game. Those who don’t search don’t find. The key for her will be when she’s healed, loved, and know what it is she’s looking for. With your help, she’ll be amped to get back in the dating game!
I was envying this lady’s cute leggings during class.
When she left I noticed they were completely see-through. Should I have said something?
Everyone’s personality will dictate how she’ll answer this question. Shy people will probably gasp and say, “Gosh no!” Me, I would say “Heck yes.” To know the best way to respond, let me ask you this: Would you like to be told?
My advice for anyone with her undies poking out the top of their leggings, or straight-up see-through leggings is this—put it away! Admittedly, many of us don’t know or notice when our g-string is flipping the McDonalds sign to the person behind us, who is awkwardly getting a sore neck from politely attempting to focus on his feet for the whole class.
Here is my recommendation: For undies, this is an immediate help-a-yogi-buddy-call-to-action. Gently tap your classmate on the shoulder and let her know she may want to pull up her tights. I always mellow this out by mentioning someone did the favor of telling me at my last class, so you’re simply paying that favor forward. I am yet to have a situation where the person didn’t appreciate being told.
My recommendation for the see-though leggings is a bit more cautious. You don’t want your classmate to feel like she should leave the class, or feel awkward for the entirety of class. Wait until you feel it is appropriate. For me that’s the end of class. And take the same angle: “A kind lady told me last week that my leggings were quite see-through. I appreciated the heads up, and I noticed your leggings are similar. I always think, ‘I would want to know.’”
As long as you say it from the heart with loving kindness and your observation is honest, don’t be afraid to share it. Just be aware that they will no doubt feel a bit awkward, and may not put their mat next to you at yoga class. Again, make ask yourself, would you want to be told?
Emma Mildon is an author, columnist, and spiritualist that specializes in spiritual research that she shares to her readers through her interactive website, app, and books. Giving her readers easy access to everything from spiritual scriptures across all religions, to different types of yoga to explore, crystals, feng-shui right down to how to work out your astrology and numerology. Be sure to check out her book The Soul Searchers Handbook or visit her website, emmamildon.com. You can also find Emma on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Google+.