Self-love has become a hot topic of discussion. You can hardly get through your Facebook feed without seeing someone post about it. People are waking up to the importance of self and that’s a beautiful thing. But what does self-love actually mean?
There are several myths around the idea of self-love—about how perfect life becomes when you truly love yourself—but the truth is, life will never be perfect. We just become better at managing our life experiences.
Breaking the Myths of Self-Love
Myth: Self-love is about feeling perfect and whole all the time.
Truth: Even with a full tank of love, you’re bound to still feel imperfect and broken at times. Self-love is about embracing yourself for all that you are and all that you experience. It’s about accepting yourself when you feel broken, rather than faulting yourself for feeling low.
Myth: Self-love allows you to feel happiness all the time.
Truth: Happiness is definitely a by-product of self-love, but we will still experience sadness. When you’re in a state of self-love, you accept your sadness. No more resistance, no more hiding your emotions. It’s all about acceptance and honoring your feelings.
Myth: Self-love leads to healthy relationships.
Truth: It takes two people to maintain a healthy relationship, and you may date people who simply are jerks. It has nothing to do with a lack of self-love… They’re just not where you’re at, emotionally or spiritually, and that’s OK. Self-love offers you the awareness and power to walk away from those jerks.
Myth: Self-love creates an armor that makes you invincible to insults and criticism.
Truth: Insults and criticism can hurt even the strongest self-love warriors. But these warriors will choose to counteract their hurt feelings with compassion. Self-love helps you bounce back from these attacks with ease and grace.
Myth: Self-love means you no longer feel fear.
Truth: Point blank: Fear will still be a part of your life, even with a full tank of love. Fear is simply a sign that you are being challenged or faced with something new; it’s also a very natural instinct that helps us recognize danger. Fear is a good thing. When fear stands between you and something you desire, self-love helps you push past that fear because you understand that you are capable of attaining whatever it is that lies on the other side.
Myth: Self-love means you will no longer experience limiting beliefs.
Truth: Your inner-critic will still be there. You’ll still hear that voice telling you that you aren’t enough, or that you’re not worthy. When you embody self-love, you gain the insight to see how false your limiting beliefs are, and you gain the power to fight through them.
Realizing the Truths of Self-Love
Self-love is like a tool-belt: You gain tools to help you through even the toughest of experiences, because let’s face it, tough experiences will continue to be obscure your path from time to time. But with a full tank of love, you’ll have all the tools you need to work through those experiences, and the emotions that they stir up within you.
You’ll still fall. You’ll still stumble. And you’ll still have bad days. But with self-love, you’ll react to these experiences differently. You won’t need to fall down and wait to be saved by something or someone else: You will be able to save you. You’ll be able to climb out, and you’ll come face-to-face with your biggest fears and the beliefs that most limit you. You’ll be able to bounce back stronger each and every time.
This is the true essence of self-love: While your life won’t magically become perfect, you’ll simply become better at handling life. And that’s something to love.
Ruby Fremon is a Coach, Catalyst, and Ignitor. She helps people radically boost self-love so they can take back their power and create lives that make them ridiculously happy. Ruby empowers her clients to shift into the belief that they can have it all without sacrificing a damn thing. What makes Ruby a truly dynamic Coach, is her ability to blend together practicality with spirituality while delivering her message in a loving, no-bullshit format. This fusion helps her clients create massive life shifts that stick.
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