Ask Emma is our straight-talking, semi-irreverent, spiritualist-realist etiquette column for all matters metaphysical and mundane. We openly welcome and acknowledge all views, opinions, feedback, ideas, and questions. Please recognize that this is about spreading useful, positive, helpful, kind, practical tips. Should you feel inspired to share bad vibes or hate mail, we politely and respectfully ask you to peace out.
I took my boyfriend to his first yoga class.
He didn’t know the names of any of the postures or what to do. The teacher wasn’t the most descriptive and after 15 minutes, he was having trouble following along. His competitive nature overtook and he threatened to leave. How should I have reacted? Should I go with him? Say OK? Get upset? Break up!?
Let’s take a deep breath and try to see this from the view of his yoga mat. Do you remember how much of a yogi-knob-head-numb-skull you felt the first time you tried to follow along with a sun salutation? There shouldn’t be anything competitive about yoga, but the fact that we’re out of our comfort zone—led by someone telling us to cobra-lift-twist-dog-inhale-lengthen-exhale—can be pretty overwhelming. He’s a naturally competitive dude, so it’s no wonder he wouldn’t love feeling out of his depth. It’s kind of the equivalent of you watching your first game of gridiron*.
Make sure you give the guy some breathing room. It is important to respect other people’s journey with yoga. Accept that he may need to ease into it—or that it may simply not be his cup of namas’tea. Want to nudge him in the yogi-direction? Try doing a few at-home YouTube yoga sessions together to help him get more familiar with some of the poses. Is there another couple that can join you, so he can have another new-yogi-comrade? A yogi-bromance, if you will? Give him options of different types of yoga or studios, so he can pick styles and venues in which he feels comfortable.
If you are in class together again, it’s not a bad idea to let the teacher know there’s a virgin yogi in the midst. The teacher will be more conscious to provide different levels of stretches and options, and may even direct their attention to the new participants who may need some extra direction or encouragement. If he isn’t enjoying it, let him know before the class that at any time he can crank a child’s pose, or lie down and simply kick back and relax.
* Emma is a Kiwi, currently residing in New Zealand. Gridiron = sort of like football, for all you uninitiated North American readers.
How do I explain the rose quartz in my bra to my Tinder date?
(h/t The Numinous)
You free spirited, sensual, earth angel you—go girl! Secondly, I feel ya. I personally have a bra loaded with crystal torpedoes that tend to fly out at the worst-oh-my-god-how-do-I-explain-this moments. I’ve had a Blue Kyanite fly out mid group fitness workout spotted by about 20 bewildered people working out around me, an Amethyst be mistaken for a very cold and angrily erect nipple, and a clear quartz trying to cleanse my energy so keenly that it worked its way out of my bra, down my back, and dropped out my blouse mid-PowerPoint presentation. Public death by crystal. Was it embarrassing timing-wise? Sure. Did I care? Hell no! And I am guessing the fact that you choose to pop a crystal into your bra before heading on a first date is proof that you don’t really care either. Rock on for being out of the spiritual closet.
Here are some quick one liners to help start the conversation should you choose to bring up your hidden crystal:
- Question: If you had to pick between a creepy dead rabbits foot, a dirty germ infested coin, or a shiny-sparkly crystal for a lucky good vibes memento what would you pick? Answer: I picked the crystal; I have a lucky love crystal in my bra.
- Question: If I made you walk through an airport X-ray would anything unusual show up? Answer: If you made me walk through one my bra would set off sirens—I have a rose quartz crystal in my bra.
- Question: Do you have any rituals you do to help attract good luck or things into your life? Answer: I put a crystal in my bra before I came out on this date, it’s like a little heart ritual of mine.
Here are some quick one liners to help explain the purpose of a rose quartz to your potentially curious, lost, intrigued, or running-for-the-door date:
- A rose quartz on a first date is like a bullet proof vest for any future love wounds.
- A rose quartz is essentially a heart magnet. A rock for good love vibes.
- A rose quartz is a crystal that helps heal your heart hang ups. It helps you say peace out, emotional baggage.
- A rose quartz is the equivalent to a love pacemaker on your chest. It helps keep your heart energy levels in check.
If he’s still running for the door, he didn’t deserve your sparkly anyway, darling.
Last year I hosted Thanksgiving and didn’t invite my vegetarian friend to come.
I didn’t want to spend the money to prepare a separate meal and didn’t have the time. I still feel badly about it. How can I include veggie friends in the future without heaping a whole lot of extra stress on myself?
I think the fact you have thought about it—and want to make an effort to include everyone whether they are vegetarian, vegan, have allergies, need gluten-free, dairy-free, or fun-free food for Thanksgiving—is pretty super-healthy-kosherlestic-vegan-vegy-dopeness!
The good news? You are embracing that Thanksgiving spirit. The bad news? There isn’t really any. Unfortunately, a few fussy this-tofu-is-too-tough Thanksgiving complainers have ruined it for everyone. But you can rest assured that the rest of your animal-friendly friends don’t want to be a hindrance. So put it in perspective. Do you have vegetables? Bread? Potatoes? Yams? Pumpkin pie? There are already quite a few options for your guests without you needing to do too much.
Save yourself some stress and just ask them what they might need. If you invite a few diet specific guests you could ask them each to bring a dish with them that are diet friendly to all their needs. Bingo! Add that to the table with the usual Thanksgiving bells and whistles and you have yourself a feast fit for… Well, everyone!
Emma Mildon is an author, columnist, and spiritualist that specializes in spiritual research that she shares to her readers through her interactive website, app, and books. Giving her readers easy access to everything from spiritual scriptures across all religions, to different types of yoga to explore, crystals, feng-shui right down to how to work out your astrology and numerology. Be sure to check out her book The Soul Searchers Handbook or visit her website, emmamildon.com. You can also find Emma on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Google+.