{"id":53657,"date":"2016-05-06T16:10:12","date_gmt":"2016-05-06T20:10:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=53657"},"modified":"2016-05-09T13:12:13","modified_gmt":"2016-05-09T17:12:13","slug":"lifting-each-other-up-by-learning-to-ask","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/ro\/journal\/lifting-each-other-up-by-learning-to-ask\/","title":{"rendered":"Lifting Each Other Up by Learning to Ask"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gather your friends and learn how to lift each other up\u00a0at a Wanderlust 108<\/a> or festival<\/a> this summer.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Asking for help never came naturally for me.\u00a0I was raised to believe that success came from good old-fashioned hard work. Because of this I developed a pull yourself up by your bootstraps, grin and bear it, it ain\u2019t over till it\u2019s over mentality. If things got too hard or too stressful, you were expected to just soldier on\u2014because that was life. No one was going to share your burden, but no one was going to share your success either, and that was the main goal\u2014to succeed.<\/p>\n

But as I got older, I found this kind of thinking wasn\u2019t sustainable in the real world. Once we complete our schooling and leave home we realize that there is more to life than just getting good grades and maintaining a social life. And then help\u2014in one form or another\u2014quickly becomes necessary to maintain balance<\/a> and sanity.<\/p>\n

Accepting and asking for help from our tribe looks different depending on which area of life we\u2019re in. It can be working together to make a project happen, dropping competitive urges in our yoga studio or workplace to hear out advice, or even just letting go of the belief that we should be able to do it\u2014whatever „it” is\u2014alone.<\/p>\n

Wherever you are in this journey, some of the following tips may be helpful for you as you learn to ask and accept help from your circle. Just know: It’s OK to lean on others. We are here to support and lift each other up. It’s what a tribe does<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Be Afraid to Admit It to Yourself<\/h3>\n

Being vulnerable<\/a> is scary; obviously it is, because if it weren\u2019t, we would see people doing it all the time. But sometimes being vulnerable is the best thing we can do for ourselves. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we give ourselves the space to learn, accept help, and grow.<\/p>\n

A lot of asking for help has to do with letting go of shame or guilt. Our lives are so good\u2014we think\u2014so how can we admit that things are less than perfect? Why would we need help<\/a>? We must be ungrateful.<\/p>\n

But here’s the thing: Life doesn\u2019t have to be terrible for you to need help (or to benefit from it). Life can be fantastic, and you can still need support. Sometimes, the more outstanding life is, the more support you need. And it’s OK to ask for it<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Learning to Lean on Others<\/h3>\n

Like the song<\/a> says, we get by with a little help from our friends<\/a>. All of us. On top of that, once we let go of this shame and admit to our friends that we need help, we\u2019ll likely find that they, too, are seeking it. Everyone goes through similar stuff; we don\u2019t exist in vacuums. The problem you\u2019re having now? Maybe your friend went through it and can provide helpful advice. And maybe next year you can give a friend advice on what you\u2019re going through now.<\/p>\n

Really, how else can we expect to get through this life stuff?<\/p>\n

So ask your boss out to coffee and pick her brain on how to climb the ladder. Chat up the yogi whose handstands you admire and ask her to assist on your next attempt. You don’t have to go at it alone; chances are that your life\u00a0is full of people ready and willing to show their support. Admitting you need it is only going to strengthen those bonds and make your tribe stronger.<\/p>\n

Help looks different for every situation, and for every person. Don\u2019t be ashamed to ask for exactly<\/em> what you need<\/a>. Do you need someone to provide feedback for you? Do you need physical help, in the form of assistance on a work or home project? Or do you need someone to be an empathetic ear, to listen to you<\/a> and provide support? Not sure what that is? Journaling<\/a> can help, and sometimes just talking it out can help you find a solution or get closer to what you need.<\/p>\n

Admitting you need support\u00a0is only going to strengthen those bonds and make your tribe stronger.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Your friends, your family, your tribe\u2014they all want to help you. They love you. Whatever you\u2019re going through, big or small, they want to be there<\/a> for you. You don\u2019t have to feel ashamed or like you couldn\u2019t do it on your own. They want you to know that you don\u2019t have to.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Support your tribe, and learn to ask for it in return. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":53669,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1057],"tags":[1346,1460,318],"class_list":["post-53657","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wisdom","tag-friendship","tag-tribe","tag-vulnerability"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLifting Each Other Up by Learning to Ask<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Support your tribe, and learn to ask for it in return.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/lifting-each-other-up-by-learning-to-ask\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ro_RO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta 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