{"id":296719,"date":"2021-08-03T02:21:27","date_gmt":"2021-08-03T06:21:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=296719"},"modified":"2021-08-09T12:13:06","modified_gmt":"2021-08-09T16:13:06","slug":"scrisoare-catre-un-perfectionist-in-curs-de-recuperare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/ro\/journal\/scrisoare-catre-un-perfectionist-in-curs-de-recuperare\/","title":{"rendered":"Scrisoare c\u0103tre un perfec\u021bionist \u00een curs de recuperare"},"content":{"rendered":"

S\u0103 te zba\u021bi pentru perfec\u021biune este o figur\u0103 de stil des \u00eentalnit\u0103\u00a0 chiar dac\u0103 adesea descoperim o \u00eemplinire mai mare atunci c\u00e2nd ne eliber\u0103m de astfel de a\u0219tept\u0103ri. Iat\u0103 cum po\u021bi face acest lucru.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Anxietatea \u0219i depresia sunt dou\u0103 probleme grave de s\u0103n\u0103tate mintal\u0103. Dar exist\u0103 o a treia mai pu\u021bin discutat\u0103 pe care am vrea s\u0103 o lu\u0103m \u00een considerare: perfec\u021bionismul. O perspectiv\u0103 perfec\u021bionist\u0103 nu este distractiv\u0103. Noi perfec\u021bioni\u0219tii tindem s\u0103 tr\u0103im \u00een viitor, s\u0103 dans\u0103m cu indecizia \u0219i s\u0103 ne definim valoarea prin realiz\u0103ri. Am\u00e2n\u0103m, critic\u0103m \u0219i supra-analiz\u0103m. \u0218i adev\u0103rul este c\u0103 perfec\u021bionismul nu ne conduce spre obiectivele pe care ni le-am propus – ci mai degrab\u0103 ne las\u0103 neferici\u021bi \u0219i suprasolicita\u021bi. Deci, de ce ne permitem s\u0103 fim cei mai r\u0103i critici ai no\u0219tri?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u201ePerfec\u021bionismul este o form\u0103 de supravie\u021buire\u201d, spune Kerri Kelly, fondatorul CTZNWELL, o mi\u0219care emergent\u0103 pentru a mobiliza oamenii \u00eentr-o for\u021b\u0103 puternic\u0103 pentru bun\u0103starea tuturor. \u201eCredem c\u0103 a fi perfect este necesar pentru a men\u021bine conexiunea\u201d. De la un perfec\u021bionist la altul,<\/span> \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219irea acestui g\u00e2nd este \u00eenfrico\u0219\u0103tor de precis\u0103. Ad\u00e2nc, foarte ad\u00e2nc, dorin\u021ba noastr\u0103 de succes este adesea legat\u0103 de dorin\u021ba noastr\u0103 de iubire. Sim\u021bim c\u0103 dragostea este condi\u021bionat\u0103; c\u0103 este ceva ce trebuie c\u00e2\u0219tigat.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Perfec\u021bionismul nu se aplic\u0103 doar c\u00e2nd e vorba de job-ul nostru – se poate aplica s\u0103n\u0103t\u0103\u021bii \u0219i rela\u021biilor noastre. Postim pentru a ne pedepsi pentru \u00eenc\u0103lcarea dietei sau ne critic\u0103m partenerul pentru c\u0103 buc\u0103t\u0103ria este dezordonat\u0103. (Probabil pentru c\u0103 suntem con\u0219tien\u021bi de propria noastr\u0103 dezordine). Permitem oric\u0103rei realiz\u0103ri s\u0103 ne defineasc\u0103 valoarea de sine, s\u0103 dict\u0103m cantitatea de dragoste pe care trebuie s\u0103 o primim \u0219i s\u0103 cre\u0103m standarde ridicole care s\u0103 cauzeze mai mult r\u0103u dec\u00e2t bine.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

G\u0103se\u0219te frumuse\u021bea \u00een haos.\u00a0<\/b><\/h3>\n

Instagram-ul \u0219i alte forme de re\u021bele de socializare au creat o lume perfect\u0103 \u00een care vedem cele mai bune momente din vie\u021bile tuturor. Navighezi prin re\u021belele de socializare\u00a0 si descoperi livingul perfect, curat \u0219i imaculat, al nu \u0219tiu cui \u0219i \u00eencepi s\u0103 te ui\u021bi in jur ca s\u0103 te critici pentru casa \u00eenc\u0103rcat\u0103 de rufe. Majoritatea influencer-ilor de pe Instagram sunt, de fapt, destul de sinceri \u00een ceea ce prive\u0219te via\u021ba lor, recunosc\u00e2nd c\u0103 fotografiile lor sunt facute pentru reclame \u0219i nu ar trebui folosite ca baz\u0103 de compara\u021bie.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Via\u021ba real\u0103 nu este perfect\u0103 – este dezordonat\u0103 \u0219i aglomerat\u0103. Asta nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 nu exist\u0103 frumuse\u021be. Gre\u0219elile, e\u0219ecurile, dezordinea \u0219i neajunsurile fac parte din aventura epic\u0103 a vie\u021bii.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b>\u00a0<\/b><\/h3>\n

S\u0103rb\u0103tore\u0219te micile victorii.\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n

De multe ori, perfec\u021bioni\u0219tii ignor\u0103 binele din via\u021ba lor, deoarece \u00eencep s\u0103 se concentreze asupra urm\u0103torului obiectiv. Chiar \u0219i atunci c\u00e2nd facem un efort sus\u021binut \u0219i realiz\u0103m ceva minunat, trecem rapid la urm\u0103torul lucru \u0219i nu ne acord\u0103m deloc timp pentru a ne felicita. Dar numai a\u0219a po\u021bi g\u0103si recuno\u0219tin\u021b\u0103 pentru toate acele lucruri bune pe care le-ai f\u0103cut – pentru c\u0103 probabil e\u0219ti destul de grozav.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eAccept\u0103 ceea ce esti\u201d, spune Kerri. Cu alte cuvinte, recunoa\u0219te c\u0103 faci o treab\u0103 extraordinar\u0103 \u00een a fi om. Dac\u0103 ai nevoie \u0219i mai mult de un memento, la sf\u00e2r\u0219itul serii, \u00eenainte de a merge la culcare, f\u0103 o list\u0103 scris\u0103 sau in minte cu trei realiz\u0103ri pe care le-ai atins \u00een ziua respectiv\u0103. (Un fel de list\u0103 de sarcini, dar invers.) Pot fi mari sau mici, pot s\u0103 aib\u0103 leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu munca, s\u0103n\u0103tatea, rela\u021biile sau orice altceva vrei tu. Doar f\u0103-le cunoscute \u0219i mul\u021bume\u0219te-\u021bi pentru atingerea lor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Schimb\u0103 rela\u021bia pe care o ai cu gre\u0219elile tale.<\/b><\/h2>\n

Nu exist\u0103 o persoan\u0103 \u201ede succes\u201d care s\u0103 nu fi experimentat vreodat\u0103 un e\u0219ec. Sportivii se lupt\u0103 la antrenament. Yoghinii se dezechilibreaz\u0103 din posturi \u0219i sar peste clase. Scriitorii petrec ore \u00eentregi elabor\u00e2nd capitole din ultimul lor roman, doar pentru a le arunca apoi pe toate, pentru c\u0103 nu transmit ceea ce i\u0219i doresc. Ideea nu este de a elimina e\u0219ecul \u2013 e\u0219ecul va fi acolo. Gre\u0219eli vor ap\u0103rea. \u0218i atunci c\u00e2nd acestea apar, te po\u021bi folosi de lec\u021biile pe care le-ai \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat \u00een aceste circumstan\u021be pentru a face alegeri diferite pe termen lung. Antreprenorii \u00ee\u0219i \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219esc adesea propriile e\u0219ecuri, deoarece\u00a0 perioadele respective au reprezentat momente valoroase pentru ei, din care au \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat, momente care i-au ajutat s\u0103 se propulseze spre urm\u0103toarea etap\u0103 captivant\u0103 \u0219i plin\u0103 de satisfac\u021bii.<\/span><\/p>\n

Acest lucru nu se aplic\u0103 doar mediului profesional, ci \u0219i rela\u021biei parentale, rela\u021biilor amoroase \u0219i s\u0103n\u0103t\u0103\u021bii. Elimin\u0103 g\u00e2ndirea totul sau nimic din aceast\u0103 zon\u0103 a vie\u021bii tale. Permite-\u021bi, at\u00e2t \u021bie c\u00e2t \u0219i celor pe care \u00eei iube\u0219ti s\u0103 fac\u0103 lucrurile imperfect. G\u00e2nde\u0219te-te la c\u0103l\u0103torie \u00een ansamblu. \u00cen cele din urm\u0103, aceste gre\u0219eli te vor fi ajutat \u00een moduri pe care nu \u021bi le-ai fi putut imagina vreodat\u0103.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Revino la empatie.\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n

De multe ori perfec\u021bionismul nostru tinde s\u0103 ne fac\u0103 sa fim indiferen\u021bi la sentimentelor celorlal\u021bi. Acest lucru se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd suntem at\u00e2t de preocupa\u021bi de munc\u0103, \u00eenc\u00e2t repezim un coleg. Sau dac\u0103 ne deranjeaz\u0103 defectele partenerului nostru, ne gr\u0103bim s\u0103 critic\u0103m cele mai mici gre\u0219eli ale acestora. \u00cen momentele \u00een care sim\u021bi c\u0103 perfec\u021bionismul preia controlul, opre\u0219te-te \u0219i inspir\u0103 ad\u00e2nc. De unde vin aceste obiective? Realist, po\u021bi s\u0103 o iei\u00a0 mai incet? Care este imaginea de ansamblu aici? Aceste \u00eentreb\u0103ri ar trebui s\u0103 te ajute s\u0103 iei o pauz\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 te conectezi. Rela\u021biile noastre cu cei dragi sunt at\u00e2t de importante \u0219i nu ar trebui s\u0103 sufere niciodat\u0103 din cauza perfec\u021bionismului nostru.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b>Respect\u0103-te\u00a0<\/b>\u0219i iube\u0219te-te<\/b>.\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n

Cel mai bun prieten al perfec\u021bionismului este criticul interior. Criticul interior, sau mai \u0219tiin\u021bific, cortexul pre-frontal, este vocea din capul nostru care controleaz\u0103 g\u00e2ndurile … \u0218i poate fi un tiran aspru. Gandurile autocritice apar adesea atunci c\u00e2nd lucrurile nu merg conform planului. Ne \u00eendoim de noi \u00een\u0219ine \u0219i de alegerile noastre. \u00cencepem s\u0103 regret\u0103m sau s\u0103 ne spunem lucruri precum \u201ee\u0219ti lene\u0219\u201d sau \u201eai fi putut s\u0103 faci mai mult\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Opt\u00e2nd pentru iubirea \u0219i respectul de sine, schimb<\/span>\u0103<\/span>m dialogul nostru interior. C\u00e2nd lucrurile nu merg a\u0219a cum \u021bi-ai dorit, evit\u0103 s\u0103 te \u00eenvinuie\u0219ti \u0219i recunoa\u0219te c\u0103 ai f\u0103cut tot ce s-a putut. Ai compasiune pentru sinele t\u0103u din trecut. Apreciaz\u0103 munca pe care ai f\u0103cut-o. Felicit\u0103-te. Kerri Kelli spune: \u201eCe se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 dac\u0103 am alege \u00eengrijirea de sine \u00een locul \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u021birii de sine?\u201d Doamne, ce ar fi dac\u0103 am decide s\u0103 facem acea baie cu bule \u00een loc s\u0103 ne arunc\u0103m \u00een lista noastr\u0103 de sarcini? S-ar putea s\u0103 ne permit\u0103 s\u0103 ne recalibr\u0103m \u0219i s\u0103 revenim a doua zi cu mai mult\u0103 energie, creativitate \u0219i bucurie pentru proiectele noastre.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 e\u0219ti perfec\u021bionist, s\u0103 \u0219tii c\u0103 nu e\u0219ti singur. Dar nu trebuie s\u0103 fie a\u0219a. Nu trebuie s\u0103 facem nimic pentru a fi demni de dragoste – suntem deja.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014<\/span><\/p>\n

Amanda Kohr<\/strong> este Senior Content Editor la Wanderlust. O pute\u021bi g\u0103si explor\u00e2nd noi drumuri, b\u00e2nd cafea la restaurant \u0219i pe Instagram.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

S\u0103 te zba\u021bi pentru perfec\u021biune este o figur\u0103 de stil des \u00eentalnit\u0103\u00a0 chiar dac\u0103 adesea descoperim o \u00eemplinire…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":296314,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4485],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-296719","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stretch-ro","region-ro-ro","region-europe-ro"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWanderlust<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/ro\/journal\/scrisoare-catre-un-perfectionist-in-curs-de-recuperare\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" 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