{"id":264705,"date":"2020-11-16T14:24:12","date_gmt":"2020-11-16T19:24:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=264705"},"modified":"2020-11-16T14:24:12","modified_gmt":"2020-11-16T19:24:12","slug":"99-9-of-people-are-not-monogamous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/ro\/journal\/99-9-of-people-are-not-monogamous\/","title":{"rendered":"99.9% of People Are Not Monogamous"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\">They think they are.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">But they really aren\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Are you monogamous?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">If so, why?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">What even is monogamy?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">When I say that 99.9% of people are non-monogamous, what I mean is that most people define monogamy as simply <span class=\"s1\">\u201c<\/span>not being with other people.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">I go far beyond that.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">I<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>ve coined the term <span class=\"s1\">\u201c<\/span>conscious monogamy\u201d to describe when a couple truly commits to each other emotionally and physically.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">There are no secrets lives, no piles of white lies, no <span class=\"s1\">\u201c<\/span>don<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>t ask, don<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>t tell\u201d conversations.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">You fully show up.\u00a0Emotionally and sexually.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">You are naked, raw, vulnerable and fully exposed.<\/p>\n<p>You go deep, are vulnerable, and reveal the wildest and softest parts of your hearts.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">You give your partner everything you<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>ve got.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">You show up in bed.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">You allow yourself to be naked and raw and surrendered.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">You emotionally open up to them. You pull down your walls, you allow yourself to be deeply penetrated and seen.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">By that definition:<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">99.9% of people don<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>t have that.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">They hold back. They hide.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p6\">They might not be intimate with other people.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">But they certainly aren<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>t being intimate\u2014sexually or emotionally\u2014with each other.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">Be honest. Do you have that?<\/p>\n<p>Are you fully open, surrendered and honest with you partner? Do you let your guard down and let all your soft and raw places rise to the surface? Are your heart and genitals laid bare?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p6\">To me, true monogamy is a deep, powerful, surrendered, cataclysmic, sexual and emotional connection.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">That<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>s what propels you into a quantum leap dimension in your lives.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">That\u00a0is what makes your relationship your superpower.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">And turns you into a super-power couple.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">But like I said: hardly anyone has this, nor do they know how to create it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">Most relationships are superficial.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">Safe. They are tacit agreements not to disrupt the status quo.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">They rely on \u201cDon\u2019t ask, don\u2019t tell\u201d and mountains of white lies.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">They consist of five-minute encounters and stealth porn habits.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">That<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>s not monogamy.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">That<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>s hiding.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p6\">Then it becomes easy to say: <span class=\"s1\">\u201c<\/span>Oh, monogamy doesn<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>t work.&#8221; or &#8222;Humans weren<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>t meant to be monogamous.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p6\">I agree\u2014the kind of <span class=\"s1\">\u201c<\/span>pseudo-monogamy\u201d most people have, doesn<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>t work.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p6\">It<span class=\"s1\">\u2019<\/span>s a relationship based on dishonesty and a tacit agreement to live a lie.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">But <b>conscious<\/b> monogamy works better than anything else I&#8217;ve ever seen.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p6\">Maryanne has been married for 19 years.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">By her own acknowledgement, the first decade or so of their relationship was <span class=\"s1\">\u201c<\/span>non-monogamous\u201d.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">Meaning, they had the kind of pseudo-monogamy that most people have.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">They shared parts of themselves, but not all.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">They had a decent sex life, but not great.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">They had 10 minutes of sex, but not 3 hours.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">They felt \u201cin like\u201d but not \u201cin love.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">Then she found me.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">She threw herself into my work, listening to every single podcast and video I ever made, and then she shared them with her husband.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">Then they <b>both<\/b> threw themselves into my work.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">Now their lives are full of deep honesty, soaked sheets, cervical orgasms, ecstatic\u00a0births and careers that are reflections of their true dharma.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">The hallmarks of super-power couples.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">You can use that connection and energy to fuel every part of your lives.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">All this puts you into another dimension, another category of relationship, that less than 0.1% of the population has.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">That\u2019s my definition of monogamy\u2014conscious monogamy.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">It\u2019s a rare and beautiful thing.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-259814\" src=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Kim-Anami-Headshot.jpg\" alt=\"Kim Anami Headshot\" width=\"200\" height=\"238\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Kim-Anami-Headshot.jpg 614w, https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Kim-Anami-Headshot-252x300.jpg 252w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\" \/>Kim Anami is a holistic sex + relationship coach, and vaginal weight lifter, who is here to infuse more passion into your life and bed. Listen to her acclaimed <a href=\"https:\/\/kimanami.com\/orgasmic-enlightenment-podcast\/\">Orgasmic Enlightenment podcast<\/a>, see her sex education videos on YouTube and experience her life-changing online programs at <a href=\"https:\/\/kimanami.com\/\">kimanami.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/kimanami.com\/\">Website<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/kimanami\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cConscious monogamy\u201d is when a couple truly commits to each other emotionally and physically. You fully show up,\u00a0emotionally and sexually. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2918,"featured_media":264762,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3188],"tags":[4329,4369,4328,63,4326,4327],"class_list":["post-264705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ground","tag-kim-anami","tag-monogamy","tag-sacred-sexuality","tag-sex","tag-sexual-healing","tag-sexual-wellness","region-north-america","region-us"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v18.0 (Yoast SEO v27.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Wanderlust<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Holistic sex + relationship coach, Kim Anami, shares how we can use crystals to enhance sexual energy and creativity.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, 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