{"id":217749,"date":"2020-04-03T09:16:03","date_gmt":"2020-04-03T13:16:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=217749"},"modified":"2020-04-03T09:16:51","modified_gmt":"2020-04-03T13:16:51","slug":"youre-not-lost-uk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/ro\/journal\/youre-not-lost-uk\/","title":{"rendered":"You\u2019re Not Lost, You\u2019re Just In-Between"},"content":{"rendered":"

We all feel lost sometimes, but in the midst of the pain and discomfort, we can find presence.<\/p>\n

At 200 Baker Street in London stands a three-story Victorian building. In January, its proprietors announced\u00a0that a record 300,000 items<\/a>\u00a0entered its doors last year\u2014all of them lost items, left by commuters on the city\u2019s buses, trains, and subways.<\/p>\n

Among the many curios that have been tagged and stuffed into floor-to-ceiling shelves that span corridors upon corridors at 200 Baker Street are cellphones, laptops, umbrellas, musical instruments, books, bags, dresses, shoes, $25,000 in an envelope, soft toys, an urn complete with ashes, a life-size Spider-Man doll, and an odd prosthetic limb\u2026<\/p>\n

I am fascinated by the hallways of 200 Baker Street.\u00a0How did so many items get so lost? Who didn\u2019t care for them enough? Where do they really belong? Will they be retrieved at some point?<\/p>\n

Will they ever find a purpose again?<\/p>\n

There\u00a0is something very poignant about these things that were left behind. There is a sadness that resonates with me deeply\u2014because I know what it is to feel lost.\u00a0We all\u00a0do.<\/em>\u00a0And it\u2019s not pleasant.<\/p>\n

At first we may not even know it. We think we are headed in the direction of the career or relationship of our dreams\u2026 But then we start receiving signals that the path we are on may not be the one we had planned:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. We feel\u00a0anxious<\/a>, ungrounded. Unable to relax, but unable to focus either.<\/li>\n
  2. Our thoughts become erratic. We want to be alone, only\u2026 We want to be with the company, too.<\/li>\n
  3. Once easy tasks now feel weighty and unassailable.\u00a0We feel overwhelmed.<\/li>\n
  4. We seek distractions. Anything\u2014just to capture our attention for one moment.<\/li>\n
  5. It seems impossible to recall the last time we felt carefree and joyful.<\/li>\n
  6. A general feeling of fogginess and confusion seems to reign over us. We get headaches.<\/li>\n
  7. Decision-making becomes a mammoth task. We have no idea what direction to take.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And all of a sudden we realize we must have missed the whole part where the kindly bus driver picked us up, placed us on a shelf in a dusty corridor, and declared us \u201clost.\u201d<\/p>\n

    Feeling Lost<\/h3>\n

    It\u2019s a dark place. But it doesn\u2019t have to be. There is a way to see our \u201clost-ness\u201d as a place of opportunity. As a spiritual teacher, Teal Swan<\/a>\u00a0says: \u201cYou cannot ever hope to find yourself and understand yourself until you have first become lost and misunderstood yourself.\u201d Nothing has gone wrong, she points out. Rather,\u00a0everything<\/em>\u00a0has gone right.<\/p>\n

    German psychiatrist Fritz Perls and his wife Laura attempted to unravel this feeling of being lost in the 1900s. Their \u201cgestalt<\/a>\u201d theory is that our lives tend to have, at nearly every moment, a focus and a background. The two coexist. But there are times, when our lives are about to shift, where this focus and background disappear entirely. We thought we had it all mapped out\u2014the job, the relationship, the purpose\u2026 And then we wake up in a dark room with no idea where we are or where we are going. It is an \u201cin-between\u201d state where we find ourselves in a place of suspension\u2014and that place, according to Gestalt psychology, is a place of\u00a0creativity<\/a>. It\u2019s where our next adventure is being born.<\/p>\n

    The trouble is, we have come to look upon this point of shifting in our lives\u2014this in-between state, the zero point of creation\u2014with great anxiety. In his book,\u00a0Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life<\/em>,\u00a0Gregg Levoy<\/a>\u00a0makes the case\u00a0that our Western culture has confused mystery with \u201csomething to be solved,\u201d rather than something \u201cto be serenaded.\u201d\u00a0Our minds have become highly tuned to make meaning, to have goals, and to keep us safe. The unknown is regarded as a threat, rather than a wonder.<\/p>\n

    \u201cTo be lost is to be present\u201d \u2013 Rebecca Solnit<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    But, \u201cto be lost is to be present,\u201d says\u00a0Rebecca Solnit<\/a>\u00a0in\u00a0A Field Guide to Getting Lost<\/em>. Our minds have no future place to jump to, nothing to latch on to, and so we have to sit with what is. The panic we feel is\u00a0only\u00a0brought about because we are unfamiliar with\u00a0being in the now<\/a>.<\/p>\n

    In the London Transport lost property office, at 200 Baker Street, the lost items have to sit there\u00a0for three months. Then they are moved on to thrift stores and nonprofits that can make use of them\u2014where they can be repurposed.<\/p>\n

    For us, however, this time spent before being \u201crepurposed\u201d is indeterminate. In some cases, we can feel lost for many months, and at other times a new focus and path can emerge in just days. But it\u00a0will<\/em> emerge, and in the interim, we can learn to love the unknown and to see ourselves\u2014not as lost\u2014but merely as in-between.<\/p>\n

    How to Make It Through the In-Between<\/h3>\n

    Breathe<\/h3>\n

    It\u2019s OK to feel lost. It\u2019s OK to not feel OK. But remember: You are most definitely not alone. So\u00a0relax and breathe<\/a>. You\u00a0will<\/em>\u00a0find your way. And notice that between the inhale and exhale there is a point of suspension\u2014a\u00a0gap. Even the breath gets lost.<\/p>\n

    Stop the Distractions<\/h3>\n

    Be honest about all the ways you\u2019re distracting yourself and\u00a0quit them<\/a>. Instead, try to embrace the opportunity to sit in presence. It can feel painful to be with\u00a0uncertainty, but it is also a place of infinite possibility and creation. Embrace it.<\/p>\n

    Notice the Signs<\/a><\/h3>\n

    When we\u2019re lost it can feel like we are flailing in the water, waiting for a big boat to come and get us. We often hope the heavens\u00a0will open and a booming voice will tell us what to do and where to go. But more often than not our\u00a0callings<\/a>\u00a0come to us as small offerings from the universe. When we\u2019re busy waiting for the boat we miss the twigs that float past that could\u2019ve formed our raft. So\u00a0notice the signs<\/a>. If you feel you should take drumming classes, take them\u2014it doesn\u2019t mean your calling is to be a famous drummer\u2014but it could be pointing you in your new direction.<\/p>\n

    Have Faith<\/h3>\n

    The feeling of being lost, or having no focus \u201ccan be like looking through a\u00a0kaleidoscope,\u201d says New York clinical psychologist\u00a0Mary Cox<\/a>.\u00a0Sometimes the\u00a0kaleidoscope turns slowly, and\u00a0at\u00a0other times \u201cyou begin to turn the end and then,\u00a0wow<\/em>, a whole new experience begins that you never could have imagined,\u201d says Mary. But whatever happens, have faith, because you will not stay\u00a0on the lost property shelf forever.<\/p>\n

    \"HelenaveryHS\"<\/p>\n

    Helen Avery<\/a>\u00a0is a Section Editor at Wanderlust Media, working on the Vitality and Wisdom channels on wanderlust.com. She is a\u00a0journalist, writer, yoga teacher, minister-in-training, and full-time dog walker of Millie.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    We all feel lost sometimes, but in the midst of the pain and discomfort, we can find presence.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":217752,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1057],"tags":[706,1115],"class_list":["post-217749","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wisdom","tag-mental-health","tag-mind","region-europe","region-gb"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWanderlust<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/youre-not-lost-uk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ro_RO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We all feel lost sometimes, but in the midst of the pain and 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