{"id":99707,"date":"2018-05-08T18:28:47","date_gmt":"2018-05-08T22:28:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=99707\/"},"modified":"2020-01-14T13:35:22","modified_gmt":"2020-01-14T18:35:22","slug":"am-i-a-bad-woman-for-not-wanting-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/pt-pt\/journal\/am-i-a-bad-woman-for-not-wanting-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I A Bad Woman for Not Wanting Kids?"},"content":{"rendered":"

This piece was originally published for Mother’s Day 2018. The circumstances of the author’s life have since happily changed.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Last July, at age 33, I separated from my husband. We had been unhappy for a while, but were both absolutely shattered when it all unraveled. Friends and family were there for both of us, though I suspect that their support was slightly different depending on to whom they were talking. It invariably didn\u2019t take more than three or four well-intentioned platitudes before the person asked me about what I was going to do about having children. I was 33 going on 34, after all. My window was closing. <\/span><\/p>\n

My husband never experienced this. He had a long rich life ahead of him, whether he had children or not. I, as a woman, was teetering dangerously close to the unfulfillment of my biological purpose\u2014something that not only makes me selfish, but also a deeply tragic figure, destined to grow old alone without any joy or companionship in my twilight years. <\/span><\/p>\n

But all of that, of course, is bull. <\/span><\/p>\n

A Woman\u2019s Private Parts Are\u2026 Private<\/h3>\n

According to Brianna Madia<\/a>,<\/span>\u00a0a storyteller and professional vagabond, we all know the \u201crules\u201d when it comes to religion, politics, or salary. \u201cAnd yet,\u201d she says, \u201ceven in our current culture of correctness, it is still deemed socially acceptable to ask a woman about something as personal as the status of her reproductive organs. I\u2019ve been confronted about my childlessness at cocktail parties, holiday dinners, and even standing in front of an office copy machine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not just a rude and deeply personal question, it can also be triggering and\u2014even unintentionally\u2014open wounds<\/a>. \u201cThat woman standing before you may have just experienced her fourth miscarriage or her third round of IVF fail,\u201d says Brianna. \u201cShe and her partner may be knee-deep in the excruciating pain that infertility can bring upon a couple. And here you are, demanding to know about a child she\u2019d love nothing more than to tell you about\u2026 If only she could.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

On the other side of the spectrum, women who choose not to have kids sometimes face the insinuation that they\u2019re somehow devoid of maternal instinct or the capacity to love. \u201cSeveral years ago, due to a family emergency, my 17-month-old nephew was sent from California to live with my husband and I in our studio apartment for over two months,\u201d says Brianna. \u201cIt was one of the most challenging and emotionally trying things we\u2019ve ever gone through. Just once I wanted to be told, \u2018you\u2019re a great aunt\u2019 instead of, \u2018you\u2019d make a great mother.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The Unconventional Realization<\/h3>\n

Whitney Smith<\/a> is a graduate student whose parents, she writes, \u201chad a rocky relationship with parenthood.\u201d Despite that, Whitney says that she feels as if she was effectively brainwashed, \u201cprogrammed to ignore or deny any negative thoughts associated with motherhood.\u201d She\u2019s recently realized that she isn\u2019t, in fact, required to procreate; that she doesn\u2019t owe society a child, and that her femininity and womanhood isn\u2019t threatened by deciding not to have kids. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was programmed to ignore or deny any negative thoughts associated with motherhood. \u2013 Whitney Smith<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cI know women,\u201d Whitney writes, \u201cwho have been pressured and judged to the point that they fall victim to coercive tactics, only to be left in a position they were not prepared for or ultimately did not desire.\u201d That is, women who DO have kids are not permitted\u2014not even once\u2014to have the unthinkable thought that their life could\u2019ve been better, or at least different, without kids. She\u2019s immediately cast as a wayward mother, failing to tap into feelings that define the feminine experience, rather than a human being with complex and competing<\/a> desires and life plans. Men do not face this same stereotyping. Patriarchy, much?<\/span><\/p>\n

And then, of course, there\u2019s the \u201cbiological clock,\u201d which is what I was reminded of when I separated from my husband. According to Whitney, the pressure to have kids definitely amps up as a woman approaches her mid-30s. A woman, writes Whitney, is expected to be <\/span>grateful<\/span><\/i> for the years in which she was able to unconventionally eschew maternity for a career or continuing education\u2014as if those years were a bonus, rather than a path.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf the amount of childfree years did not suffice, a women risks being viewed as greedy, selfish, unloving, less womanly, and even subjected to dehumanization,\u201d she writes. \u201cFreedom of choice doesn\u2019t afford us women the ability to choose not to have children and exist in a judgement-free world.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re Not Alone<\/h3>\n

When I started working on this piece, I posted a simple query on Facebook<\/a><\/span>, asking women who had chosen not to have kids if they had ever felt a stigma. The question got as much engagement on my personal page as the sharing of my wedding photo album (and the photos of friends\u2019 newborns, for that matter). Responses came in from all over the country, from women on disparate walks of life, with disparate backgrounds and experiences. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour life can be full without being a parent,\u201d says Kristi Siconolfi<\/a>. \u201cAnd guess what? You still have tons of responsibilities.\u201d She says that people often comment on how lucky she is that she doesn\u2019t have kids, because it obviously means she just does whatever she wants, when she wants. \u201cUmm, no,\u201d she says. \u201cI have responsibilities at work, for my dogs, to keep my home looking nice, to pay my bills.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Brianna has faced this kind of stereotyping as well. \u201cThere\u2019s this horrible connotation that people without children sleep until 10am every day, spend all their money on brunch, and couldn\u2019t possibly know what it means to have a responsibility to someone outside of themselves,\u201d she says. \u201cPerhaps this is a pipe dream of exhausted parents, but it couldn\u2019t be further from the truth. There are childfree individuals who, perhaps unbeknownst to you, have dedicated their lives to bettering yours and your child\u2019s,\u201d she says. <\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s this horrible connotation that people without children sleep until 10am every day and spend all their money on brunch. \u2013 Brianna Madia<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

For Megan Carl<\/a>, it\u2019s not about not wanting to have kids at all\u2014it\u2019s about meeting the right person<\/a> with whom she\u2019d like to raise a family. Ironically, says Megan, it wasn\u2019t until she was diagnosed with complicated chronic illness that her opinion on having kids changed. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI am 90 percent sure I want kids, but up until very recently I was at maybe 50 percent,\u201d she says. \u201cHowever, I am 100 percent glad that I didn\u2019t have them yet\u2014at the wrong time (in my development as a human) or with the wrong partner. I can\u2019t imagine being bonded to the wrong someone in that way for the rest of my natural life. I say this all the time but I truly mean it. We are all EXACTLY where we are supposed to be, right at this moment. The universe wouldn\u2019t have it any other way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Right on, Megan. Kids, no kids, pets, no pets: It\u2019s all about knowing what feels good for you. So happy Mother\u2019s Day\u2014to mothers of all kinds, and to women who honor their maternal instinct in all sorts of unconventional ways. You\u2019re exactly where you need to be. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014<\/p>\n

\"\"Lisette Cheresson<\/a>\u00a0is a writer, storyteller, yoga teacher, and adventuress\u00a0who is an avid vagabond, homechef, dirt-collector, and dreamer.\u00a0<\/em>When she\u2019s not attempting to create pretty sentences or reading pretty sentences other people have created, it\u2019s a safe bet that she\u2019s either hopping a plane, dancing, cooking, or hiking. She received her Level II Reiki Attunement and attended a 4-day intensive discourse with the Dalai Lama in India, and received her RYT200 in Brooklyn.\u00a0<\/span>She is currently the Director of Content at Wanderlust Festival.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Short answer: Absolutely not. And no matter how it feels, you’re not alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2881,"featured_media":99708,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3190],"tags":[171,2051,160,902],"class_list":["post-99707","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stretch","tag-kids","tag-mothers-day","tag-motherhood","tag-women"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAm I a Bad Woman for Not Wanting Kids?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Short answer: Absolutely not. 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