{"id":43090,"date":"2016-01-26T10:48:58","date_gmt":"2016-01-26T15:48:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=43090"},"modified":"2023-10-04T13:59:46","modified_gmt":"2023-10-04T17:59:46","slug":"how-it-is-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/pt-pt\/journal\/how-it-is-now\/","title":{"rendered":"How it is Now: Relearning Aparigraha in Real Time"},"content":{"rendered":"

You don\u2019t have to venture too far afield into the realm of mindfulness to hear the words: Be here now<\/em>. Echoes of Ram Dass\u2019s seminal 1971 tome<\/a> still reverberate within the walls of today\u2019s yoga studios, self-help seminars, and air-conditioned Burning Man RVs. And when you plant yourself beneath your Tibetan prayer flags, find your sitz bones, and begin to emanate that vibey glow that gets turned on when one discusses complete and utter presence, we totally feel it, too, man. We get it. We\u2019re here. Now. It\u2019s so good, right?<\/p>\n

But what about when your squirmy nine-month-old is howling and writhing in her dirty diaper and it takes every ounce of might to prevent this morning\u2019s broken-down breakfast from getting over every surface in sight (including you)? Or what about when your potty-training toddler smears his own digested dinner all over everything in the crib (including him)? Are you here? Now? Or is it more, \u201cFor the love of Ganesh, will somebody please, please get me anywhere BUT the here and now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Taking this tenet of mindfulness off the mat and into the minefield of motherhood<\/a> is approximately 108 times harder than sticking a one-armed handstand. Approximately.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I will confess that I didn\u2019t know what living in the moment really meant at its core until I had kids, who at their<\/em> core, hearken all the mindfulness of wild raccoons. Rabid, wild, sleepless, hunger-striking raccoons. (Except for the fact that wild raccoons would actually finish the quinoa and organic vegetable medley it took you 30 minutes to make.)<\/p>\n

Sure, every day post-childbirth for me had been an exercise in living in the present, insofar as I couldn\u2019t look beyond the actual moment unfolding before me since I was always responding to the ever-changing needs and mercurial whims of a baby. It was like being in quicksand, but with less sand and more poop. Like treading water, but with less water, and more poop. Like being on a treadmill, but err, less\u2026treads\u2026 Well, you get the point.<\/p>\n

But the \u201cpresence\u201d penny truly dropped for me on a cold January night as I was rocking my colicky baby in a used glider someone had told me I needed<\/em> in order to get my baby to sleep. (Side note: They<\/em> are usually wrong, when it comes to your<\/em> kids.)<\/p>\n

As I tuned out the crankles and turned up my shushing, I totally left the \u201cnow\u201d of that wintery<\/a> night. I was definitely crawling out an \u201canywhere but here and now\u201d escape hatch, so fervently that I might well have called it Transcendental Abdication. But when my attention returned to that cold corner of the bedroom, I was taken aback to see that my sorrowful babe had stopped crying. I hadn\u2019t even noticed when he had stopped. The little bundle in my arms was now a beautiful, sleeping, peaceful boy. My heart melted and hope sprung eternal. An unfamiliar but confident<\/a> voice in my head said, \u201cYou see? Don\u2019t despair. At any given moment, sleep might be right around the corner<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

This one moment crystallized every hackneyed saying I\u2019d ever been offered on being present: Be with each moment, good or bad, because this, too, shall pass.<\/p>\n

After that cold night\u00a0I began to apply my\u00a0realization to all the short, sharp pains of motherhood. Teething. Terrible twos. Stomach flu that shows you precisely how much fluid a human body can expel. Through it all my mantra<\/a> now was: Don\u2019t despair. [Fill in the blank] could be right around the corner. <\/em><\/p>\n

(Confession: That blank was filled with \u201ca big glass of white wine\u201d more often than once.)<\/p>\n

As such, instead of feeling trapped in the here and now by becoming fettered to a precise moment, I had finally understood the inherent freedom in it:\u00a0That each and every moment coming down the pipe could be a totally different experience, and that grasping too firmly to any one fleeting reality was self-defeating.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the lesson that would probably be the opening track on the Buddha\u2019s \u2018Greatest Hits\u2019 album; non-grasping, non-attachment, non-clinging.\u00a0 You may have encountered it in the yamas of the Yoga Sutras as Aparigraha<\/a>. Or maybe you\u2019re heady and know every word to George Harrison\u2019s triple album \u201cAll Things Must Pass<\/a>.”\u00a0It’s easy to grasp, at least on paper. But applying it to the trials and tribulations of life with my wild raccoons suddenly made it so much more potent, palpable, and frankly, practical for me.<\/p>\n

For a new parent, the forest can oftentimes appear as one big quagmire of wailing and poop and reflux and sleeplessness<\/a>. Instead of seeing the forest for the trees, I could now see the trees for the forest. And each and every tree was distinct, and allowed to exist as a separate entity all on its own. I was able to get back down on the level of these granular moments and see them for what they were. Many of them were actually precious and tender beyond description, but they were getting lost in the overall landscape as the paintbrush of my tired memory smeared tough experiences over them, creating a canvas roughly the color of, oh, say, crap.<\/p>\n

Once I finally \u201cgot\u201d this, a recollection of one the finest teachings I\u2019d ever heard on the topic of being here now floated to the top of my memory.\u00a0 Allow me a tiny bit of context, if you will.<\/p>\n

In my life before kids, one of the most treasured positions I undertook was as producer of Wanderlust\u2019s lecture series, the Speakeasy<\/a>. I was privileged to seek out and make contact with inspiring thought leaders, and to work with them to bring their teachings to the festivals. I became intimate with them as individuals, as well as their work. And I sat, part-producer and part-student, through each and every Speakeasy lecture<\/a> over five years of festival life.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s where you get to snicker. The truth is that, while I was sitting right there in each lecture, fully able to take in the wisdom that each of these teachers had worked to distill for us, I still shrouded myself in busy-ness, working away. I often found myself thinking, \u201cOh, this is a really good lecture. I\u2019m going to have to watch this one when it comes out on YouTube.\u201d Let me repeat: I was sitting right there. You can now see how my prior references to my not being good at being here now<\/em> are painfully, laughably true.<\/p>\n

But every once in a while, there came a lecture that grabbed my ear and my heart simultaneously, and made me stop the pitter-patter on my all-important keyboard and listen up. One such moment<\/a> came in Lama Marut\u2019s pithy and witty lecture on \u201cBeing Nobody\u201d at Wanderlust\u2019s Speakeasy in Squaw Valley.<\/p>\n

In a brilliantly surreptitious moment, he offered to translate the meaning of Om<\/em> by having the audience repeat after him. \u201cIt\u2019s\u2026\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s,\u201d<\/em> they repeated. \u201cLike\u2026\u201d \u201cLike.<\/em>\u201d\u00a0 \u201cThis\u2026\u201d \u201cThis.\u201d<\/em> \u201cNow\u2026\u201d \u201cNow.\u201d<\/em> Pause.<\/p>\n

It took a moment for the audience to chuckle at the meaning, and perhaps the joke didn\u2019t even hit some of them. But it\u00a0stuck with me, and formed the basis of a mantra I invoke often: I look at a moment that I\u2019m just totally\u00a0stuck<\/em> in and tell myself, \u201cThis is how it is now.\u201d\u00a0Usually by the time I\u2019ve so much as finished the thought, a new reality is emerging. And if it\u2019s not, that big glass of wine is always waiting so very quietly and patiently in the fridge.<\/p>\n

While my baby’s howls often reached over 100 decibels,\u00a0his explorations in chuckleography made my heart detonate into a million little pieces and I was weightless.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cThis is how it is now\u201d gives me the freedom me to admit, \u201cThis moment stinks<\/em>, fully and completely,\u201d without allowing the entire morning, day, or month to be swallowed up by the ongoing siren of \u201cWaaaaaaah\u201d.<\/p>\n

But it also gives me the perspective to say, \u201cWait, this<\/em> moment is transcendentally magical,\u201d without feeling like I\u2019m duping myself by indulging in moments of rosy self-delusion that everything is hunky dory all the freaking time. Because we can pretend it is on Instagram, but we all know the parenthood gig is most definitely not<\/em> #hunkydoryallthefreakingtime.<\/p>\n

So, while my baby’s howls often reached over 100 decibels (yes, I measured, just for fun),<\/em> which is the equivalent of a jackhammer, chainsaw or speeding express train, my baby also discovered how to laugh, and his explorations in chuckleography made my heart detonate into a million little pieces and I was weightless. Even if only for a moment or three.<\/p>\n

This is how it is now.<\/em><\/p>\n

That\u2019s where I want to dwell. In the weightless world of moment-to-moment unfolding, as harrowing and magnificent and fleeting as each might be.<\/p>\n

\u2014<\/p>\n

\"karinaKarina Mackenzie has pursued many passions at Wanderlust HQ, including producing the Speakeasy Lecture Series<\/a> and running all-things-digital back in the day. Currently, as in right this very moment, she is tapping out an author byline on an iPhone in the dark whilst nursing the youngest of two beautiful babes she proudly raises in Brooklyn with her husband, Wanderlust co-founder, Sean Hoess.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

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