Anxiety and depression are two serious mental health issues. But there’s a less-discussed third we\u2019d like to consider: perfectionism. A perfectionist outlook is no fun. We perfectionists tend to live in the future, dance with indecision, and rank our value by accomplishments. We procrastinate, criticize, and overanalyze. And the truth is, perfectionism doesn\u2019t lead to the goals we set for ourselves\u2014rather it often leaves us unhappy and overworked. So why do we allow ourselves to be our own worst critics?<\/p>\n
\u201cPerfectionism is a form of survival,\u201d says Kerri Kelly<\/a>, founder of CTZNWELL<\/a>, an emerging movement to mobilize people into a powerful force for wellbeing for all. \u201cWe believe that being perfect is necessary for us to maintain connection.\u201d From one perfectionist to another, unpacking this thought feels frighteningly accurate. Deep, deep down, our desire for success is often tied to our desire for love. We feel that love is conditional; that it is something that needs to be earned.<\/p>\n Perfectionism doesn\u2019t just apply to our jobs\u2014it can apply to our health and relationships. We fast in order to punish ourselves for breaking a diet, or criticize our partner for their messy kitchens. (Probably because we\u2019re self-conscious of our own messes.) We allow any sort of achievement to define our self-worth, dictate the amount of love we are to receive, and create ridiculous standards that cause more harm than good.<\/p>\n Instagram and other forms of social media have created a picture perfect world where we see everyone\u2019s highlight reel. You scroll through your phone to see so-and-so\u2019s perfectly clean and immaculately decorated living room, only to spin your head and start criticizing your laundry-laden home. Most Instagram influencers are actually pretty candid about their lives, admitting that their photos are staged advertisements, and should not be used as any basis of comparison.<\/p>\n Real life isn\u2019t perfect\u2014it\u2019s messy and cluttered. That doesn\u2019t mean beauty is absent. Mistakes, failures, messes, and shortcomings are all part of the epic adventure of life.<\/p>\n Oftentimes, perfectionists gloss over the good in their lives because they start fixating on the next goal. Even when we do make a solid effort and achieve something awesome, we quickly move on to the next thing and take essentially no time to congratulate ourselves. But this is where you can find gratitude for all that good stuff you\u2019ve done\u2014because you\u2019re likely pretty awesome.<\/p>\n \u201cStart organizing with whatever is already whole within you,\u201d Kerri says. In other words, notice that you are doing a pretty amazing job at being a human. If you need even more of a reminder, at the end of the night before you go to bed, make a physical or mental list of three accomplishments you achieved that day. (Sort of like a to-do list, but in reverse.) They can be big or small, having to do with work, health, relationships, or whatever else you choose. Just make them known and thank yourself.<\/p>\nFind beauty in the mess.<\/h3>\n
Celebrate small victories.<\/h3>\n