They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it, a colloquialism I conveniently kept forgetting to follow with a second step. But my dependence has reached unhealthy levels\u2014I\u2019m sleeping poorly and unable to focus on simple tasks, like reading, without \u201cchecking in.\u201d It\u2019s time for a hard reset. I\u2019m digitally detoxing for seven whole days, and will document my progress in a journal\u2014that is, assuming I don\u2019t collapse from withdrawal.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m a mess today. I attended a Wanderlust 108 festival<\/a>\u00a0in Santa Monica this weekend and flew back home on a red-eye. Disaster. I\u2019m bleary-eyed, nauseous, and totally out of it. The only thing I want to do is binge on Netflix for hours, but I\u2019m pretty sure that mindlessly staring at a screen would be a bad way to kick things off. I consider an online restorative class, but that requires a computer. They make everything so easy, and yet do they really fulfill our needs? I turn my phone off completely, pull down the window shades, drape my body over a bolster, and consider myself dead to the world. <\/span><\/p>\n When it\u2019s time for bed, I find myself antsy to the point of clenching my jaw. It\u2019s been almost 24 hours since I checked WhatsApp for messages, and I\u2019m worried I\u2019ll \u201cmiss\u201d something. But what could be so important that it\u2019d be sent via WhatsApp at 10 pm on a Wednesday night? I go to bed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m still jet-lagged, but feeling more excited about the detox. As I go about my routine, I catch myself reaching for my phone <\/span>dozens<\/span><\/i> of times before noon. Literally dozens. This is not good. Each time, I ask myself: What were you planning on doing with it? The answer, I admit sheepishly, is always the same: Instagram. <\/a><\/span><\/p>\n I decide to dig a little deeper and explore why I feel the need to check IG, and I realize it isn\u2019t out of boredom or curiosity. I notice that the common denominator in each of these close calls is that just before I grab my cell, I have begun to get a little anxiety about deadlines, my career, my hopeless singledom\u2026 Turns out, I\u2019m straight-up trying to avoid <\/span>feelings<\/span> that oh-so-inconveniently keep creeping in. I decide to make a new rule: Every time I want to avoid a hard emotion by cruising the web, I have to sit, close my eyes, and feel the feels for two minutes. I do <\/span>a lot<\/span><\/i> of eyes-shut-sitting this week.<\/span><\/p>\n Well, it had to happen sooner or later. I was working on an article, and I must have blacked out for a sec, because when I \u201cwoke up\u201d I was seven images deep on my Instagram newsfeed. Let me reiterate this: I actually opened a new tab on my browser, navigated to Instagram, and started scrolling <\/span>without realizing that I was doing so. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Apparently I also scroll for procrastination<\/a> purposes. This was a theme that would recur again and again throughout the week: The <\/span>second <\/span><\/i>I felt stuck or bored or distracted by whatever I was working on, I would click open a new tab and start to type either \u201cInsta…\u201d or \u201cTwitt…\u201d or \u201cFace\u2026\u201d Cruising around social media sites is my favorite form of postponing a dreaded task, a fact that Mark Zuckerberg would love but my editors would hate. I didn\u2019t cure myself of the urge this week, but I did catch myself in the act earlier and earlier.<\/span><\/p>\n This is a tough one to share. I realized today that, in addition to texting and IRL chats, one of the main ways I stay in touch with my girlfriends is to swap snarky comments via DM about people we hate-follow on social media. Ugh\u2014it sucks to admit it, and it sucks even more that I do it. Gossip<\/a> is a huge part of our society\u2019s culture; I\u2019ll even go so far as to say it\u2019s how we\u2019ve been trained to communicate with each other. But that doesn\u2019t make it right. <\/span><\/p>\n I realized I was missing the daily lol moments from my best gal pal\u2019s razor-sharp takedowns, and that\u2019s when I first acknowledged the deeper issue. We have so much in common: We both love to cook, teach yoga, and are passionate about wellness. We have zillions of things to talk about and do together. Connecting and fostering a sense of closeness through this social media snark just feels cheap. And lazy. This one is an easy fix: We made plans to meet for tea, and shared an hour of substantial, thoughtful conversation. I left our date feeling refreshed, not guilty and dirty.<\/span><\/p>\n Okay, I\u2019ve definitely gotten over my withdrawal symptoms and have entered the euphoria stage. I made plans to go out with my parents to celebrate my mother\u2019s birthday, and I had a tight turnaround from my shift at the yoga studio to the time of our dinner reservations. Normally, this type of situation would stress me out as I attempted to take care of my dog, get dressed, and get out the door, but today I felt a sense of lightness. I practically skipped out of my apartment with my cell set to airplane mode. What changed? I\u2019m pretty sure it\u2019s the fact that I had officially crossed \u201cCheck Instagram\u201d off my to-do list. <\/span><\/p>\n Let me explain: Once again, I\u2019m blushing so hard I\u2019m turning red, but my addiction<\/a> has roots so deep that I have convinced myself scrolling through random people\u2019s feeds is a necessary step in getting ready to leave the house. It isn\u2019t just a time suck: The real problem is that I\u2019ve placed undue importance on the minutiae of someone else\u2019s life over my own. My voice says that attention and presence are important, but my actions say that what celebrity yoga teachers ate for lunch is more so. I decide to banish my cell from the \u201cgetting ready\u201d process from here on out, and lean into the itchy \u201cbut I just wanna know\u201d feeling that comes with my abstinence.<\/span><\/p>\n Last week, while I was on vacation in another state, my folks had my aunt and uncle over for a meal. I knew this not because I was invited or because my mom told me. I knew because my aunt posted pictures on Facebook. This got me thinking how much of my friends\u2019 and family\u2019s life updates I glean from stalking \u2014 instead of talking. I\u2019ve learned about my network\u2019s pregnancies, deaths, and engagements through social media, and I\u2019ve definitely shared big news (a book deal, a move, a new job) of my own through the platforms.<\/span><\/p>\n I used to tell myself that social updates were simply the most efficient means of reaching the most people all at once, but the more I think about it, the more I\u2019m wondering: <\/span>Why is it important to reach the most people all at once?<\/span><\/i> If it\u2019s a major life event we\u2019re dealing with, shouldn\u2019t I want to discuss it with personal, face-to-face interactions? And if it\u2019s a boring detail not worth a real conversation, does it really need to be shared? I\u2019ve considered social networks<\/a> a huge part of my social life for the last ten years, and I\u2019m not going to lie… I\u2019m having an existential crisis over here.<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s the last day of my digital detox, and I\u2019ve reached a calmer, clearer place by actually engaging with the physical space I\u2019m in. Instead of jumping up to cook dinner, do a final email sweep, and crush the last few items on my to-do list, I spent a few minutes after meditation this evening simply looking around my apartment. <\/span>Did the light always look so beautiful this time of day?<\/span><\/i> Had my ceilings always been that pretty? They\u2019re REALLY pretty. Have I seriously lived here for four months without noticing them?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n I\u2019m suddenly aware of how often I pass time in restaurants, caf\u00e9s, and parks without looking around. Why? Because my face is buried in my cell. Of course. I became hyper-aware of my own behavior patterns this week as I watched diners whip out their devices the second their dates got up to use the restroom, and I observed people moving forward in a line while scrolling until the second they reached their destination. I made a conscious effort to look up, look around, and spend time observing the buildings, furniture, decorations, and people surrounding me. It\u2019s definitely a practice I\u2019m going to carry with me when this experiment is over.<\/span><\/p>\n This was one of the hardest things I\u2019ve done. It wasn\u2019t an issue of willpower; what made this detox<\/a> challenging was being honest with myself about how unhealthy my addiction has become. There\u2019s no way I was going to undo a decade of learned behavior in the course of a week, but what I will take with me is a clear awareness of my patterns and triggers. So that was step one. Step two is examining this new self-awareness with kindness, patience, and forgiveness.<\/span><\/p>\n Will I toss my cell out of my third-floor window? Definitely not. But I absolutely am going to scale back, check in less, and employ mindfulness tactics in my social media and technology usage. I tell my yoga students to play at their edge of discomfort, but not to live in extremes. What better advice than that for living in a digital age?<\/span><\/p>\n \u2014<\/p>\n No social media. No scrolling. No comparison. No kidding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2772,"featured_media":99752,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1057],"tags":[706,356,1069,709],"class_list":["post-99751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wisdom","tag-mental-health","tag-social-media","tag-technology","tag-wellness"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHere are the rules: <\/b><\/h3>\n
\n
\nDay One<\/b><\/h3>\n
Day Two<\/b><\/h3>\n
Day Three<\/b><\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/@gbarkz.jpg\")
<\/p>\nDay Four<\/b><\/h3>\n
Day Five<\/b><\/h3>\n
Day Six<\/b><\/h3>\n
Day Seven<\/b><\/h3>\n
Parting Thoughts<\/b><\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Screen-Shot-2018-03-26-at-11.45.15-AM.png\")
<\/b>Rochelle Bilow is a yoga teacher and wellness writer based in Upstate New York. She\u2019s an advocate for body positivity and healthy attitudes toward food and spends the majority of her free time concocting feel-good recipes. She\u2019s also a nature nut and proud corgi mom. Connect with her at her\u00a0website<\/span><\/a>\u00a0and on\u00a0Instagram<\/span><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"