{"id":27406,"date":"2015-06-10T17:16:27","date_gmt":"2015-06-10T21:16:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=27406"},"modified":"2018-03-09T16:03:56","modified_gmt":"2018-03-09T21:03:56","slug":"3-lessons-learned-from-70-years-of-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/ja\/journal\/3-lessons-learned-from-70-years-of-love\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Lessons Learned from 70 Years of Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

Recently, I had the good fortune of interviewing my grandfather before we celebrated my grandparents\u2019 70th wedding anniversary. Seventy years married is a huge accomplishment, and I wanted to get some insight on how I could apply his wisdom toward my own relationship.<\/p>\n

That handsome old guy puckering up for a kiss is my grandfather, Robert Rulapaugh. That colorful lady smiling? That\u2019s my grandmother, Dorothy.<\/p>\n

Grandpa Bob married his sweetheart Dot just 10 days before Germany surrendered WWII. \u00a0So you could say they\u2019ve got some history between them.<\/p>\n

I sat Grandpa down and asked him to share what helped them survive and thrive so many years together.\u00a0These are the major lessons I learned from him:<\/p>\n

1. Be Helpful<\/h3>\n

\u201cBe helpful to one another. Make the bed together in the morning. Always be doing something to make your partner\u2019s life a little easier. That\u2019s the secret.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Be helpful, plain and simple. Of course\u00a0it\u2019s important to take good care of yourself in a relationship, too. But I think we focus too much on autonomy, aloneness, and independence these days. It seems like we seek it as a sign of strength. One of the greatest gifts of marriage is having someone there to support you when you need it most. You lift one another up. And we offer a mirror of the best and worst in one another. And when we see something we don\u2019t like, that\u2019s where we get tripped up\u2026<\/p>\n

2. Stay Together<\/h3>\n

\"Bob_Dot_Then_Now\"\u201cTry to be together as much as possible. You have rough times in life. Sometimes the road gets a little bit rocky, but don\u2019t ever go to bed mad at each other. Never do that. But also learn to not carry on in useless arguments. What\u2019s gained in that?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Half the battle is staying together. Why do we huff and puff and blow our own houses down? I do believe we need to keep healthy friendships that help us grow and connect\u00a0outside the context of the relationship. Being too close offers its own set of challenges. As I look at my own relationship, I think we\u2019ve got the \u201cspend as much time together as you can\u201d part down. We\u2019re headed on another summer roadtrip together. We work, play, and do everything together. And that brings us a sense of deep understanding and shared experience. It can also be a real test of patience sometimes, but it\u2019s all about alignment\u2026<\/p>\n

3) Make Decisions as a Team<\/h3>\n

Grandpa, how do you make good decisions as a couple? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, that\u2019s my downfall. Many times I should have waited and talked things over with her before I did them. A lot of times I made the decision, and WE should have made the decision. You regret it afterwards.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I really appreciated hearing those words. Making good decisions together is such an important lesson. It\u2019s too easy to get prideful and think you know the way. The reason why we pair up is to build a life together, and we should be respectful of our partner\u2019s perspective. They may see what\u2019s been in your blind spot. Especially when it comes to the big choices, always make them as a team.<\/p>\n

I asked Grandpa one last\u00a0follow-up question\u2026<\/p>\n

What career advice do you have?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLiking a job and the people you work with is a big part of it. If you\u2019re not happy there, you\u2019re not going to do as well. I always enjoyed my work and I worked really hard. And it didn\u2019t hurt me.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve been programmed to believe that commitment is hard, oppressive, and limits our freedom. While this is mostly true, I think we\u2019re looking at it with the wrong lens. Whether we\u2019re talking about work, relationships, or creative endeavors, commitment is the key to longevity in doing what you love.<\/p>\n

Commitment is defined as\u00a0the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. A second definition identifies commitment as an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.<\/p>\n

The way I see it though, commitment gives us laser focus on what\u2019s most important. It frees us from passing distractions. It challenges us to truly devote ourselves. And when we apply all of our energy toward the loving, nurturing, and tending to what needs or calls us the most, we build a happier home, a consistent career, and, guess what? In the long run we actually learn we\u2019ve afforded ourselves more freedoms than we could have ever imagined. When we see commitment show up in our relationship to community, it becomes a currency that supports us in all we do.<\/p>\n

FINAL THOUGHT\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

The other day I discovered an insanely awesome video of a dancer doing the robot. I ran the video by a dancer friend asking, \u201cis this even humanly possible!?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her response rang true: \u201cCrazy right?! I know\u2026I feel it\u2019s very possible for me,\u00a0if I commit<\/em><\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n

This article was originally published on\u00a0Circus Picnic<\/a><\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n

\"jefe-greenheart\"Jefe Greenheart has been creating cinematic videos with Wanderlust for five years now along with his magical wife Kelly Greenheart. Through the years he’s worked with President Obama, Lady Gaga, Jim Carrey, Amy Poehler and shot for networks like the Discovery Channel.\u00a0 Together they founded\u00a0Circus Picnic<\/a>, a channel that spreads positivity on the playground of life. Subscribe to their weekly video series, and be prepared for truth bumps. Go here:\u00a0Circus Picnic<\/a>.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recently, I had the good fortune of interviewing my grandfather before we celebrated my grandparents\u2019 70th wedding anniversary.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1232,"featured_media":27408,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1057],"tags":[875,144,912],"class_list":["post-27406","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wisdom","tag-advice","tag-love","tag-relationships"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n3 Lessons Learned from 70 Years of Wedded Bliss<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What does it take to maintain a happy, healthy marriage for 70 years? 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