{"id":2242,"date":"2014-04-03T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-04-03T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=2242"},"modified":"2014-04-03T07:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-04-03T11:00:00","slug":"cynical-to-vulnerable-kirk-hensler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/ja\/journal\/cynical-to-vulnerable-kirk-hensler\/","title":{"rendered":"The Journey From Cynical to Vulnerable According to Kirk Hensler"},"content":{"rendered":"

We didn\u2019t hug too much or say, \u201cI love you,\u201d in my house when I was growing up. If I got sad, I\u2019d usually go in my room and cry so no one could see me.<\/p>\n

Like just about everyone I know, I\u2019ve built a sizable fortress around my feelings. I use sarcasm like a protective filter. I like to test people, push them, and keep them at a safe distance.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, I\u2019m a pretty smart dude and it\u2019s become quite clear that I\u2019ll have completely wasted my time on this planet if I don\u2019t start practicing presence right now. I need to be open to the little things — the people, the routes I walk, the movements in my body and actually tasting my food instead of pretending I\u2019m in the US Army every time I eat. As someone with a severe aversion to \u201copenness,\u201d this practice of vulnerability has been quite brutal at times.<\/p>\n

On occasion, I\u2019m able to crack myself open. Gosh, some days I\u2019m all gooey inside and I feel like warm chemicals are coating my brain cells. Other days, though, I think I could punch the Pope if I saw him.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, it\u2019s no longer serving me to be the closed off cynic. I do earnestly care about people and I want to feel exciting things (that I can later use in a script for an indie film).<\/p>\n

So what can I do everyday to ensure that I don\u2019t become a crusty old man? This:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Look people in the eyes<\/b>. Usually when I walk through the streets, I \u2019m plugged into my headphones and I pretend like nothing else around me is real. But when I stop and look people in the eyes I\u2019m ripped into attention, I don\u2019t stare for long — because that gets creepy — but there\u2019s something about the eyes that are so truthful.<\/li>\n
  2. Thank someone if I think it in my head<\/b>. People around me are doing great things all the time and I often don\u2019t say a damn thing. Some of it has to do with my stubborn competitiveness, but I\u2019m mostly just avoiding an intimate moment. When I stop and thank someone for his or her contribution to my life, there\u2019s a good pure moment. Then I quickly tell them that I will kill them if they ever mention that moment to anyone. Ever.<\/li>\n
  3. Practice embarrassing things in public<\/b>. I have the craziest dance moves. But I usually reserve them for the mirror at home or in public bathrooms, strangely enough. When someone opens the door behind me, fear electrifies my body. So, naturally, I pretend like I was looking at a zit. I\u2019ve always admired people who have an I-don\u2019t-give-a-truck attitude. So, in an effort to be more like them, I try to spend at least one block of my daily walk practicing made-up choreography. Regardless of how many cars are driving by. I might look crazy, but it feels so good not worrying what other people are thinking.<\/li>\n
  4. <\/b>Tell people exactly what I need from them. <\/b>I have spent so<\/i> many hours in my companies trying to do everything myself. It\u2019s fucking exhausting. To avoid that, I\u2019ve tried to be clearer about what I need. When I\u2019m successful, the best people come forward and take it right off my plate. Then I\u2019m left to worry about how to spend all my free time, which can be quite stressful.<\/li>\n
  5. <\/b>Write and publish. <\/b>I avoid talking about my feelings with other breathing human beings by writing them down and publishing them for the world to see. I\u2019m a perfectionist and it kills me to know that I can\u2019t control what people think. But it also brings me so much closer to the people who understand me.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Most of us aren\u2019t as happy as we should be. I can\u2019t keep feeling one way inside and then acting another way on the outside. It will shorten my life span. So I moonwalk from Park to 13th<\/sup> Street a few times a week and I thank someone for making my life better, as much as I can.<\/p>\n

    \"Kirk-Hensler-Prepster\"Kirk Hensler<\/b>\u00a0was raised in metro Detroit on a steady diet of meat, potatoes and team sports. As a competitive athlete, he relied on his power and dominant attitude to excel. Years later, when he took up martial arts, he was tossed around a sweaty dojo for months by various women and children. This led to an exploration of ancient Eastern philosophies, which, in turn, led Kirk to Taiwan, where he taught English, studied martial arts and ate a lot of delicious and strange street food. Today he owns a\u00a0yoga\/kickboxing\/green smoothie studio<\/a>\u00a0in San Diego, and is the Co-Founder of the\u00a0Hale Foundation<\/a>\u00a0\u2013 yoga\/martial arts\/creative arts for at-risk kids. Check out his blog,\u00a0Kale & Cigarettes<\/a>\u00a0to keep dibs on his journey to becoming a\u00a0hip-hop dancer<\/a>, connect with him on\u00a0Facebook<\/a>,\u00a0Twitter<\/a>&\u00a0Instagram<\/a>\u00a0and sign up for his bloody updates & contradictory life advice\u00a0here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    We didn\u2019t hug too much or say, \u201cI love you,\u201d in my house when I was growing up.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":2251,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[319,320,267,318],"class_list":["post-2242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration","tag-cynical","tag-journey","tag-kirk-hensler","tag-vulnerability"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWanderlust<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/cynical-to-vulnerable-kirk-hensler\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We didn\u2019t hug too much or say, 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