{"id":32688,"date":"2015-09-16T14:22:32","date_gmt":"2015-09-16T18:22:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=32688"},"modified":"2017-02-23T16:38:43","modified_gmt":"2017-02-23T21:38:43","slug":"feel-confident-uncertainty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/fr\/journal\/feel-confident-uncertainty\/","title":{"rendered":"Feel Confident in Your Uncertainty"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Explore new opportunities at a Wanderlust Festival this year. <a href=\"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/festivals\" target=\"_blank\">Learn More<\/a> | <a href=\"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/festivals\" target=\"_blank\">Get Tickets<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>The trouble with being able to move anywhere in the world is choosing where in the world to move. That seems like an odd thing to complain about, but as a freelance writer, I could spin the globe and close my eyes. But wherever my finger lands, would that be the \u201cright choice\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m hoping many of you wanderlusters reading this relate to this quandary. Having an insatiable curiosity to see the world, learn all the languages, and hike all the fjords is&#8230;a lot of pressure. There\u2019s too much to see, and only one lifetime. Plus, there are student loans to pay and responsibilities to uphold.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, there\u2019s a psychological gridlock that happens called \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2010\/02\/27\/your-money\/27shortcuts.html?_r=0\" target=\"_blank\">choice paralysis<\/a>.\u201d We experience it pretty regularly, actually. For example, I always get stuck on the jam aisle at the supermarket. There are so many options (Huckleberry-ginger-basil! Apricot-mango!) that it takes forever to choose. Plus, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.swarthmore.edu\/SocSci\/bschwar1\/Sci.Amer.pdf\" target=\"_blank\">psychologists have found<\/a> that having too many choices actually decreases happiness with the decision. So, when I booked a ticket to New Zealand and asked myself, \u201cHow long do I stay?\u201d I decided <em>not <\/em>to decide.<\/p>\n<p>I bought a one-way ticket and told myself I\u2019d figure it out later.<\/p>\n<p>Putting off the decision made my <a href=\"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/6-minutes-less-stress\/\">anxiety and uncertainty<\/a> worse. A few months ago I held that one-way ticket in silent panic. Now, I\u2019m one week from departure, feeling confident in my uncertainty. The process resembled the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model\" target=\"_blank\">K\u00fcbler-Ross model<\/a>, also known as the five stages of grief, with a few adjustments. Here\u2019s what happened:<\/p>\n<h3>The Five Steps to One-Way Acceptance<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Denial.\u00a0<\/strong>Sweet, blissful denial. This is where I lived for months. Living in beautiful Albuquerque, New Mexico, I hiked and fell in love and ate green chile burritos. \u201cNothing\u2019s happening; moving is a distant future.\u201d I happily compartmentalized thoughts of New Zealand and tried to <a href=\"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/slow-down-soak-up-now-stay-present\/\">live in the present<\/a>. Which worked. For a while.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Anger \/ Fear \/ Doubt.\u00a0<\/strong>Two months from departure, the fear set in. This is the worst stage by far\u2014it\u2019s dark in there. But I pushed through it by doing two things: feeling scared and being OK with it. Instead of demanding, \u201cEmily, stop being scared! This was your choice!\u201d I tried to be kinder. I repeated, \u201cMoving to a foreign country is a scary thing. <a href=\"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/how-fear-reminds-us-to-be-present\/\">Fear is a normal reaction<\/a>. Breathe.\u201d And second, I remembered a piece of advice my entrepreneur friend, Ryan Rouse, once told me: \u201cYour success is in direct proportion to the uncertainty that you\u2019re willing to handle.\u201d I think that applies perfectly to one-way ticket travel, too. Face the uncertainty. Try to make peace with not knowing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Bargaining.\u00a0<\/strong>At about T-minus one month, I started negotiating with myself. \u201cIf it sucks I can just leave.\u201d \u201cThis doesn\u2019t have to be forever.\u201d This helped mitigate the stress and open up other options.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Depression.<\/strong>\u00a0Then suddenly the fear and stress fell away, and I was just sad. I had to face what I was about to give up. I looked around at Albuquerque\u2019s dusty pink mountains, my flourishing tomato garden, my favorite corner table at Humble Coffee, and, most importantly, all my beautiful <a href=\"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/3-ways-make-new-yoga-friends\/\">friendships<\/a>. Dammit, I\u2019m going to miss the hell outta this place.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Acceptance \/ Excitement.<\/strong>\u00a0But once I processed the fear, negotiated through the stress, and fully mourned, I finally felt excited. What doesn\u2019t challenge you doesn\u2019t change you, right? Sure, there was a lot of uncertainty, but that could mean anything. Instead of seeing the what-if\u2019s as potential threats, I saw them as happy unknown opportunities. In one week I could be kayaking! Bike touring! Milking sheep! Who knows!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Will I look back after a year (or two, or three?) in New Zealand and think, \u201cBut what if I\u2019d chosen the pineapple-jalape\u00f1o jam?\u201d I\u2019m guessing no. Even if I get run down by stampeding sheep or roll my kayak in a fjord, it\u2019ll still be worth it. Because it happened in New Zealand.<\/p>\n<p>These steps also apply to any big life decision\u2014whether it\u2019s switching careers, buying a car, or moving halfway around the world. Sometimes we have to scare the shit out of ourselves. Because, ultimately, on the other side of fear is beauty, self-knowledge, and growth. Here\u2019s to not deciding, and letting \u201cthe right choice\u201d be whatever feels right <em>right now<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>And now, please, pass the jam.<\/p>\n<p><em>I\u2019ll continue to report on <a href=\"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/festivals\/great-lake-taupo\/\" target=\"_blank\">Wanderlust Festival in Lake Taupo, New Zealand<\/a>, so you\u2019ll be hearing from me as the one-way adventure continues!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Photo by Ali Kaukas\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/live-wanderlust-fest.pantheonsite.io\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/sizedEmily-Hill-16.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-30577 alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/live-wanderlust-fest.pantheonsite.io\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/sizedEmily-Hill-16.jpg\" alt=\"sizedEmily Hill 16\" width=\"200\" height=\"250\" \/><\/a>Emily Hill is a nomadic health and wellness journalist. In her travels from Albuquerque, New Mexico to Auckland, New Zealand she\u2019s reported on everything from underground electronic music to nerdy nutrition science. Emily is an avid women\u2019s cycling advocate and amateur yogi. Her favorite food is red wine. Follow her\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/emilybynight\" target=\"_blank\"><em>@EmilybyNight<\/em><\/a><em>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I bought a one-way ticket to New Zealand. Panic set in, followed by denial, anger, fear, and ultimately, acceptance. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1385,"featured_media":32692,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1058],"tags":[185,312],"class_list":["post-32688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wander","tag-wanderlust-adventure","tag-travel-2"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v18.0 (Yoast SEO v27.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Feel Confident in Your Uncertainty<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I bought a one-way ticket to New Zealand. 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