{"id":31234,"date":"2015-08-20T18:01:23","date_gmt":"2015-08-20T22:01:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=31234"},"modified":"2015-08-20T18:01:23","modified_gmt":"2015-08-20T22:01:23","slug":"are-you-emotionally-overweight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/fr\/journal\/are-you-emotionally-overweight\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Emotionally Overweight?"},"content":{"rendered":"

This piece is from our partners\u00a0at Sonima. Find more like it\u00a0here<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2022\u2022\u2022<\/p>\n

\u201cSticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.\u201d\u00a0Ever since this rhyme appeared in\u00a0The Christian Recorder<\/i>\u00a0in 1862, it\u2019s been used to teach children to ignore the name-calling and other taunts that bullies use to embarrass their victims.<\/p>\n

But what if words can be indeed harmful\u2014particularly when it comes to\u00a0fat-shaming, a crime that many Americans commit against themselves, often on a daily basis?<\/p>\n

\u201c<\/i>Do I look fat?<\/i>\u201d<\/i>\u00a0<\/i>\u201c<\/i>Do you think I<\/i>\u2019<\/i>m fat?<\/i>\u201d<\/i>\u00a0<\/i>\u201c<\/i>This dress makes me look so fat!<\/i>\u201d<\/i>\u00a0<\/i>\u201c<\/i>I<\/i>f only I could<\/i>\u00a0lose\u00a0<\/i>five pounds<\/i>\u2026<\/i>\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Sound familiar?\u00a0Rupa\u00a0Mehta, the ever-smiling guru behind The\u00a0Nalini\u00a0Method<\/a>, the popular Manhattan workout class that fuses\u00a0barre, aerobics, yoga, Pilates, and strength and resistance training, is so used to hearing this negative self-talk from her clients that she\u2019s come up with a diagnosis for those who engage in it: They\u2019re\u00a0\u201cemotionally overweight<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEmotional weight can be just as detrimental as an unhealthy amount of physical weight,\u201d\u00a0says Mehta, a millennial who\u2019s also the founder of\u00a0NaliniKIDS, a New York non-profit dedicated to\u00a0\u201cstrengthening the bodies, minds, and hearts\u201d\u00a0of thousands of the city\u2019s school\u00a0children.\u00a0\u201cThe kind of\u00a0weight loss that I know would benefit my clients, my middle-school students, and others looking to live\u00a0their\u00a0greatest lives requires something besides physical diet and exercise.\u201d<\/p>\n

For starters, we as a society need to rethink our concept of weight, Mehta says. She cites the dictionary definition of the word\u2014\u201ca body\u2019s relative mass or the quantity of matter contained by it; or, the heaviness of a person or a thing\u201d\u2014then pauses for effect, before adding:\u00a0\u201cNotice that\u00a0pounds<\/i>\u00a0is not even mentioned!\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u201cWeight is not about the scale\u2014that\u2019s our society\u2019s interpretation,\u201d\u00a0she continues.\u00a0\u201cWith an obsessive focus on physical weight and a disregard for a person\u2019s entire well-being, even the most popular fitness books, products, and services do a disservice to a captive audience looking not only to be healthier physically but also to feel great and be confident in their lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

Talking with Mehta made me think about my good friend, Candice\u00a0Maskell. Though Candice is a beautiful and successful woman\u2014she\u2019s a marketer in the entertainment industry\u2014for as long as she can remember, she\u2019s been stressed out by the number she sees on the scale. Whenever I\u2019d stay with her in Los Angeles, I\u2019d usually find her embarking on some new diet (Atkins, vegan,\u00a0Paleo\u2026), and not a day went by that she didn\u2019t mention the word\u00a0\u201cpounds\u201d\u00a0and how many she needed to lose, and express how\u00a0\u201cguilty\u201d\u00a0she was because she\u2019d eaten too many carbs or how\u00a0\u201cbloated\u201d\u00a0she thought she looked. By Mehta\u2019s definition, Candice was emotionally overweight.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow we talk to ourselves impacts everything we do,\u201d\u00a0says Vanessa\u00a0Pawlowski, a Beverly Hills, California, psychologist who specializes in treating patients with eating disorders and negative body image<\/a>.\u00a0\u201cWhen people try to push themselves too hard to lose weight, it becomes a self-fulfilling\u00a0prophesy. You feel bad about yourself, so you say negative things about your body\u2014\u2018fat,\u2019\u00a0\u2018ugly\u2019\u2014or about your character: \u2018weak,\u2019\u00a0\u2018lazy,’ \u2018not good enough.\u2019\u00a0This may become a big enough block for you to stay where you are with your eating and\/or exercise habits.\u201d<\/p>\n

Which is why Mehta is on a mission to get people to reexamine their vocabularies.\u00a0\u201cWords matter,\u201d\u00a0she says.\u00a0\u201cWe must learn to appreciate the weight of words. Just like we should be aware of what we eat, we should also be aware of the exact words we digest into our spirits. One word has the power to weigh more than a single scoop of ice cream.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWords matter. We must learn to appreciate the weight of words.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Central to Mehta\u2019s teachings is an exercise she calls\u00a0\u201cfinding your one word.\u201d\u00a0Discover that singular, life-affirming term that\u2019ll\u00a0\u201cguide your moral compass, your actions, your inner peace, and your resolve,\u201d\u00a0she says, and it\u2019ll put you on the road to losing the emotional weight<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Mehta\u2019s one word is\u00a0\u201cconnect,\u201d\u00a0a term that helped her make the difficult decision to turn down a sizable monetary offer from the fitness franchise Equinox to bring her\u00a0Nalini\u00a0Method classes to their clubs. Instead, she opted to focus on developing\u00a0NaliniKIDS<\/a>\u00a0and connecting with New York City school children.<\/p>\n

Her one word also helps her whenever she finds herself mired in a personal funk.\u00a0\u201cI have a tendency to turn inward and lock people out,\u201d\u00a0Mehta says.\u00a0\u201cTo pull myself out of it, I have to reconnect, whether it\u2019s by calling my mom or getting together with a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Mehta\u2019s mother\u2019s word is\u00a0\u201cbalance,\u201d\u00a0something she\u2019s constantly seeking in her own life, whether it\u2019s a balance between American and Indian culture (the family immigrated to the U.S. when Mehta was a child), or teaching her kids traditional and modern values.<\/p>\n

Mehta says she\u2019s seen first-hand the effect that the one-word exercise has had on her pre-teen students. After choosing the word\u00a0\u201cbreathe,\u201d\u00a0the student used it to inform her life decisions past and present: She\u2019s resolved never to smoke (her mother died of lung cancer), and, as a future yoga teacher, she returns to her word whenever she finds herself in a tricky situation.\u00a0\u201cShe tells herself,\u00a0\u2018Just breathe,\u2019\u00a0and she makes it through,\u201d\u00a0Mehta says.<\/p>\n

As it turns out, my friend Candice has also discovered her own\u00a0\u201cone\u00a0word,\u201d and these days it\u2019s helping her to repair her sense of confidence as well as her relationship to her body. Recently, while taking a yoga teacher training course,\u00a0\u201cI learned about\u00a0\u2018ahimsa,\u2019\u00a0which translates to\u00a0\u2018do not injure\u2019,\u201d\u00a0she says.\u00a0\u201cI realized I was doing a lot of self-harm by constantly calling myself fat, so I\u2019m really working on that. Whenever I feel the\u00a0\u2018f\u2019\u00a0word coming up in my throat, I think, ahimsa<\/i>.\u201d\u00a0Perhaps not coincidentally, Candice has even managed to lose a few pounds in the process.<\/p>\n

Related<\/strong>: A Guided Meditation to Develop Self-Compassion<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cMantras or single words like\u00a0\u2018connect\u2019\u00a0and\u00a0\u2018balance\u2019\u00a0give you ways to remind yourself not to get lost in the negativity that can quickly take over your thoughts,\u201d\u00a0says\u00a0Pawlowski.\u00a0\u201cMehta is showing people that they are not their negative self-talk, and repeating their one word is a significant first step to getting back in touch with who they really want to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Concludes Mehta:\u00a0\u201cStarting a word detox, losing emotional weight, and connecting to your\u00a0\u2018one\u2019\u00a0is\u00a0the healthiest and best gift you can give yourself and the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

Photo by Mike Regan
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014<\/p>\n

This story was originally published on Sonima.com. If you enjoyed this story, check out these other pieces:\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Ritual Inspiration: Inga Eriksdottir<\/a><\/p>\n

An Expert Guide to Master Crow Pose<\/a><\/p>\n

A 3-Day Clean Eating Meal Plan<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"sonima-logo\"<\/a>Sonima.com<\/a>\u00a0is a new wellness website dedicated to helping people improve their lives through yoga, workouts, guided meditations, healthy recipes, pain prevention techniques, and life advice. Our balanced approach to wellness integrates traditional wisdom and modern insights to support vibrant and meaningful living.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Negative self-talk can have a tremendous impact on your well-being. Here\u2019s how to flip the script.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1394,"featured_media":31266,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1056],"tags":[705,884,1254],"class_list":["post-31234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vitality","tag-body-image","tag-compassion","tag-fat"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAre You Emotionally Overweight?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Negative self-talk can have a tremendous impact on your well-being. 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