{"id":27086,"date":"2015-06-04T15:38:19","date_gmt":"2015-06-04T19:38:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=27086"},"modified":"2015-06-04T15:38:19","modified_gmt":"2015-06-04T19:38:19","slug":"why-we-should-stop-talking-about-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/fr\/journal\/why-we-should-stop-talking-about-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Why We Should Stop Talking About Work (And What We Should Talk About Instead)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Put yourself in the following scenario. You\u2019re going to a gathering. A party, maybe, if it\u2019s the weekend or a particularly festive Tuesday. Maybe it\u2019s a work thing, or a fun thing, and you\u2019re tagging along with a friend. Maybe it\u2019s both. You don\u2019t really expect to know a lot of others in attendance except maybe someone that you met once or twice at a similar occasion. First names and distinctive features will be all you remember or recognize, so you know that you\u2019re definitely well on your way to meeting a lot of new people all at once.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re anything like me, the outlined situation sounds a little stressful. Not because meeting people is unpleasant or coming up with personal memory games for names and faces takes a toll (mnemonic devices are pretty fun), but because I often find that meeting new people can many times center around similar topics of conversation, the main one being:<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, what do you do?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Now, if you\u2019ve been asked that question before or if you are a human being at all, you generally know the person asking it to mean, \u201cAnd what trade do you engage in that allows you to pay your bills?\u201d And probably if you answered it literally about all the various things that you actually do (\u201cWell, I start by getting up in the morning around 6:30, brush my teeth, feed the cat\u2026\u00a0\u00bb), you\u2019d get a few raised eyebrows in your direction.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with this question. There\u2019s nothing criminal about being interested in a person\u2019s profession. In fact, I\u2019ve used this line myself, many times. And while I wouldn\u2019t say that I\u2019m completely disinterested in the answer, I think I\u2019ve asked the question is more out of a default\u00a0habit rather than a genuine desire to know anything real about the person standing in front of me.<\/p>\n

Work is a big part of our lives, that much we know. Since Annie Dillard said, \u201cHow we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives,\u201d and since I tend to take what Annie says to heart, we would be correct in the assumption that work is a larger portion of how our lives are spent. Whether it\u2019s personal, professional, or a little bit of both, if it\u2019s something we can throw ourselves into and immediately forget the time or if it\u2019s something that makes us watch the clock minute by minute, it\u2019s definitely something to consider.<\/p>\n

BUT.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not the only thing.<\/p>\n

It just can\u2019t be. Because whatever you\u2019re doing that 40-odd hours of the week, there\u2019s also the other 168 where you\u2019re doing something else. Sleeping, probably, at least part of the time, so. If you subtract 8 hours a night x 7 days a week (right?), that\u2019s 123 hours you\u2019re living the rest of your life.<\/p>\n

And even though it would be nice if we all really loved our jobs all the time, it turns out that\u2019s a rare circumstance. And if you\u2019re reading this and you think, \u201cI actually really enjoy my work,\u201d then congratulations, we\u2019re all really, really happy that that\u2019s true. Well, I am. I won\u2019t speak for everyone. Some people might react in jealousy or roll their eyes at your seemingly good luck, but there are a lot of reasons why you might like your job and a lot of them (probably) have to do with your attitude and the way you look at it and engage yourself within it. But that\u2019s another story altogether.<\/p>\n

The point is that if you can begin the occasion of meeting someone\u00a0without\u00a0<\/i>immediately asking about their job, you may learn a little more about this person really is. If you say something like, \u201cSo, Janice, what do you like to do for fun?\u201d or \u201cHow do you spend your time off?\u201d they might get to:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Tell you about something they really, really like about their life. And it might be their job! Yay! But if it isn\u2019t, it still gives them the wiggle room to talk about something else that they\u2019re good at and like to do. It also might open a door that makes them realize, say, I don\u2019t really have a lot of time for extracurriculars because I spend so much damn time in the office, which could get a little dark, but at least it\u2019s real and real is better than phoney, am I right?<\/li>\n
  2. Tell you about a passion project they\u2019re working on! It turns out that a lot of us have personal side gigs when it comes to \u201cour work.\u201d Sure, we\u2019ve got our day jobs, and whether we like them or not, we\u2019ve still got those burning desires to do our own thing and so we do it, after hours, late into the night, getting together research to start our own food truck or write that novel that\u2019s been swimming around in our brains. That\u2019s something worth discussing, yeah?<\/li>\n
  3. Escape the common pressure that comes with the standard\u00a0What-do-you-do<\/i>\u00a0line. It turns out that whether we like our jobs or we don\u2019t, when dropped in a room of strangers, we can often succumb to the mounting pressure to be impressive. We might talk about our careers and money-making endeavors with an edge of shyness, of wondering does-this-seem-cool-enough and every time the person we\u2019re talking to looks around, we\u2019ll fear that they\u2019re looking for someone better to talk to when really they\u2019re just looking for the bathroom. The fact is, working for a living is always something to be proud of. You\u2019re filling a need that wouldn\u2019t otherwise be met. And if we were all brain surgeons, we wouldn\u2019t be better off. So even when you feel pretty low on the cool-job totem pole, remember that you\u2019re doing something the world needs. Even if it\u2019s not glamorous and it\u2019s only temporary (and we\u2019ve all been there), you are appreciated.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Will you try this the next time you\u2019re introduced to a stranger? Be warned, it will probably catch them off-guard. They may be poised to answer the question they\u2019re already expecting from you. They might have to think about it for a minute. You might say,\u00a0Hey, I know this is kind of a weird way to get acquainted, but it also might be fun<\/i>.\u00a0Fun is an important thing to have, right?<\/i><\/p>\n

    Right.<\/p>\n

    Photo via Stocksy.<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u2014<\/p>\n

    \"holstee_logo_2\"Originally posted on\u00a0Holstee\u2019s Mindful Matter<\/a>, the best place to read stories and tips on how to live life fully.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Helen Williams<\/a>\u00a0is the Community Love Director at Holstee. She is passionate about cooking and writing which pair well together on her vegetarian food blog,\u00a0green girl eats<\/a>. She’s strives, every day, to\u00a0be less sorry<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    We know you’re sick of hearing \u00ab\u00a0So, what do you do?\u00a0\u00bb too<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1081,"featured_media":27096,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1057],"tags":[912,970],"class_list":["post-27086","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wisdom","tag-relationships","tag-worklife"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhy We Should Stop Talking About Work (And What We Should Talk About Instead)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We know you're sick of hearing "So, what do you do?" too\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/why-we-should-stop-talking-about-work\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta 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